گریه سهم دل تنگه
I stood there, and witnessed her leaving,and left the airport as soon as I could. I hate AIRPORTS. Simply hate them.
Now I was driving, city was dark, and for the first time I felt like a stranger.
It was so quite, and I decided to push PLAY : Inja ghoroobe nazanin , donya dorooghe nazanin, to shahreh ghorbat zendegi che bi fooroghe nazanin…Vaghti ke tanhayee miad ,setaree dar nemiad , omid mondan nadaram..khashteh shodam az in roozaye bikasi, ey hamseda pas ke bedadam miresi..
Nazanin reminded me of her birthday and how someone kept calling her Nazanin. For the first time Mansour was singing a sad song, so I pressed STOP and looked at that yellow paper that she gave at the last minute; I couldn’t touch it while I was driving. I drove all the way from Airport to downtown and I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t feel the streets, the lights, the signs and the time.
I was lucky that I was in the parking now. I saw the yellow paper again and started reading, it was not easy . Finally, I got to a point that I couldn’t read anymore , so I left the car and went up while I couldn’t stop crying.
I tried to enter quietly. I really didn’t wanna wake my sister up. I went to my bed and in no time she was in my room. That was when I knew no matter how hard one tries , sometimes your effort is just pointless.
I hate crying in front of ppl, but I had to do it .
I couldn’t pretend.
It was my right to do it.
I knew I had to cry or I would never be able to go on with my life .
I remembered siavash ghomeyshi saying:
گریه کن گریه قشنگه گریه سهم دل تنگه
گریه کن گریه غروبه مرهم این راه دوره
هقسر بده آواز هق
خالی کن دلی که تنگه
گریه کن گریه قشنگه گریه قشنگه
So I cried more, and passed out in my bed
knowing tomorrow I have no one to call,
knowing this city will never be the same,
knowing this is life, the ongoing thing that keeps hurting you and fighting you,
knowing I have to gain back my strenght and wake up tomorrow.