Saturday, June 17, 2006

For a Wonderful Person

.....don't have that much to say since our footbal team lost the 2nd match, but, hey today is someone's birthday , so HaPpY BiRThDaY ;) ..All The best Henkaloos are yet to come !

Thursday, June 15, 2006

This is not a POEM!!!

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Just a note from last night.....

Tonight is the night
I wanna scream, but I can’t break the silence.
Ppl are sleeping and I can’t just scream,
Now that I look back I never screamed!
Didn’t wanna wake anybody up,

Something is burning inside me,
I wish I knew what it is,
I think I will never know,
And this would be my only secret,
A strange secret,
But I feel it,
I am looking for something,
I do!

My head is too heavy,
That’s why I am looking down,
My eyes are closed,
So I can only see black,
I hate black,
Now sky is black with no stars,
Breathing is hard this late,
Or maybe I am too lazy for breathing

I could be hopeless because of nothing
Nothing could be anything
And I simply don’t give a fuck about both,
Cause I care about some things
Something like ….You name it

I don’t wanna write a poem,
I just wanna yell,
It’s a strange feeling,
I wish I could put it into words
That way I would feel lighter
Why I can’t scream now,
Why? So many Ys.
I hate Ys
And if I do, would my heart get colder?
Would that fix my messed up mind?

I am tired,
I waited too much
Can’t do it anymore
I need a way
A way that ends somewhere other than my mind
Somewhere crispy

And this is not a poem
This is me at 12:32 a.m while I am tired of life and can’t sleep ,
While I hope to start tomorrow and laugh at this, so remember this is not a poem
This is me acting strangely at a dark night!
Or maybe this me + Amoxicillin ;)
Waite a minute,
OoopS! I had to take my pills 1 hour and 40 minutes ago…..I am gone!
But before leaving, hear me out:
I ‘ll be me again tomorrow cause I believe tomorrow is a sweet day.
And I shine when the day is sweet ;)

Monday, June 12, 2006

When you make individual errors you pay dearly for them

I woke up early in the morning, wore my football shoes;) While I wish that I had an Iranian jersey to wear.(buying a jersey is in the future plans for sure) I was running late, so I told ppl to go ahead and I joined them after I was done with tying the laces of my football shoes ! Anyways, I got to the bar and saw 4 Persians being surrounded with 40 Mexicans and that was the moment that I wished to have stick with me!With a ratio of 1 to 10 everyone would wish to have a gun, let alone the stick!!
An expert in football told me if Iranians play it well for the first 20 minutes, then we might have a high chance of winning. I was holding my breath for the first 20 minutes . Honestly I was so tense that I thought I should leave the bar and come back after 20 minutes, but then I don’t know what was it that made me to stay there and watch the game. I think it was about 30 minutes or so that Mexico scored a goal and I was like FUCK!!
All Mexicans were dancing and I was like “count the chicken after they hatch”. After all, I was damn right since their happiness did not last long, yeh, Iran scored a goal shortly after thier goal, and that was our moment to shine; all Mexican were quite and we were screaming I R A N, I R A N ….. Nothing is more powerful than a goal…That was the moment that I did not care about the ratio of 1 to 10...that was the Golden moment!
The first-half ended while no team was ahead and during the break we became friends with Mexicans and they were like yeh Iranians are good, I could feel them being worried and I was so hopeful that we would come out of this game proudly. I didn’t expect us to win; a draw would do it for me.
The second-half started and you could notice that Iranians were trying so hard to keep the record that they made. You could see too much defense and too much low self-confidence!
Everything was going alright until the last 20 minutes that our lovely goalkeeper made the most stupid mistake and Mexicans scored the second goal and I was like FUCKK. It didn’t take long that they scored the third one..FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. That did it for us and I knew that we couldn’t come out of this mess. I wanted to leave the bar, but then I thought maybe they do something during the last 10 minutes and as always I was wrong. No, miracles don’t happen and even if they do, they don’t happen to us!!!!!!

Anyways, I left the bar, took my pills, and ended up in my bed (since I was sick from the day before). I woke up 2 hours later and still couldn’t believe it,. I can’t believe how a mistake that an individual makes can ruin the game for all as Branko Ivankovic put it beautifully in simple words: “When you make individual errors you pay dearly for them”
I felt so bad for those guys, they tired so hard, sweat too much , and built their way up despite the obstacles !
They simply deserve more!
I think Iranians all around the world ,
those who watched it in the comfort of their homes,
those who watched it in a Perisan bar in the middle of a foreign land,
those who stood for more than 90 minutes to watch it in a store at the heart Tehran,
and those who went all the way down to Germany to cheer for their team,
they all deserve their victory!!!
…and finally I think TMP,
who woke up early ,
sat in a Mexican crowd( without a stick),
screamed at the top of her lungs while she was boiling from fever,
drank coffee that makes her sick,
deserves their victory!!

I’m just pissed now !!!!
…and will be till the next match…they better do better and kick some butts, so I can feel better after all!

Friday, June 09, 2006

I wonder what was it...

Well, today was suppose to be a complete perfect study day, and it was going according to my plan before I checked my email and found out that my enthusiastic readers are waiting for my update ;)..
Today’s mood wasn’t the best of all . I woke up while I was in the middle of the nightmare of Da vinci code and of course I was the one who had to find the code. Who knows maybe if I slept a little bit more, I would have had the Royal blood of Jesus. Bad timing!!!!!! I always do that.I don’t know how many more nights I have to be a part of Da vinci adventure .Now that I think about it, these days if you even see a movie , you have to pay the price for it. funny life !!!
Anyways, I woke up while my heart was literally jumping out of my chest ,went to washroom and suddenly it hit me, yes I looked different! I no longer had long hair. I looked 18 and believe me that moment was the only time that I didn’t wanna look 18.
OoopS! I did it again, I cut my hair and got ride of the long hair. It seems I am crazy and whenever I start to look a bit like fine lady, I get ride of the image and become that hippy/unattractive girl.That’s me , the self-destructing type,or it could be simply the season that brings out the worst in me.
Anyways,I tried to leave the washroom before my heart stop beating for real!!
Rest of the morning, I wasn’t in a good mood, till I clicked on internet explorer and as always BBC ‘s page opened and walaaaa..I saw: "World Cup 2006 –first day", and I wasn’t sad no more. It surprised me, cause I used to like football and yeh, my dad and I used to watch football games religiously, but I am not a die-heart fan any more! I mean, I still like footbal, but I don't have enough of passion for it to take my breath away.
I don’t know why I was happy, maybe it was the sport event, maybe it was the memories that I had from the last world cup, or maybe it was my Iranian blood which reacts instantly to the word “Football” . What ever is was , it made my day !

Friday, June 02, 2006


Last night, at 11:25 p.m in a rainy cruel night, my friend came into this conclusion: “ I wanna marry A” and she asked me to post the breaking news in my weblog which of course will be one of the top weblogs of all time(now I sound like Bridget Jones, when she was saying one of our top ppl.. haha ) Anyways, as I promised I posted the breaking news here: SHE WANNA MARRY A. This is what exactly she wrote in a piece of napkin but she wrote it in Farsi and unfortunately I don’t have Farsi font. My Apologies!!! I bet right now that I am writing this , she is looking for a Vera Wang wedding dress, and I am wondering if I be the maid of honor or the Angle?!?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

A very strange moment

Walking against the car traffic in a one way street, I was listening to whatever songs that my I pod was shuffling for me. I wasn’t just listening, I was thinking as well!!!!
I was thinking about double-faced people. Well to be more precise, I wasn’t thinking about any ppl , I was thinking about double-faced friends,
those who say something in front of you and believe something totally different in their hearts,
those who make you believe that they are one of the few genuine and trust worthy ppl that you have ever met and you are fool enough to fall for their act for a while,
those who think you are a fool and you’ll never get to see their true color,
those who are too much scared of real life that they just prefer to live a fake one, a life that satisfy them for while,and and finally those who don’t believe in karma !
Thinking about them made me so sad that I felt a sharp pain in my chest. For a minute, I felt that my chest was not big enough to hold my heart, or maybe my heart was too big for my chest. I felt that my heart was going to burst out of my chest, and seriously I was short in breath.
I unzipped my jacket and remembered Sohrab’s poem : ..kashki in mardoom danehaye deleshan peyda bood…at the same time I noticed that I was listening to Nargese Shiraz and Hayedeh was singing : boro ke bi haghighati to ghalbe man jat nist, onghad az to door shodam ke digeh peydat nist , to rafighe narafigh che bad shodi ey vay ,khooneh atish zadano balad shodi ey vay… I haven’t listen to that song for ages, and it’s for sure one of my least favorites in Hayedeh’s collection, but hey my I pod chose this song at that moment! A very confusing and weird moment, a moment that I was in harmony with my poetry, and my music!