Missing Piece

and here is mine!!

2007-01-23T15:58:00.000-08:00

You feel like a work shake-up is the last thing you need, but don't shut down just yet. Once you get used to the initial changes, you might find that you actually prefer this new regimen. Try to keep an open mind.

Finally, I am feeling lucky!!

2006-12-19T00:46:00.000-08:00

You are lucky if your father is rich and one of the luckiest if you have a rich husband too… As a girl I have heard this phrase a lot and I would say to some extend it’s true .( I said some , and some doesn't mean all!!! )Two days ago, however, I figured something new. Well, I'll be lying if I say new, so lets say I finally put my thoughts into words when I saw Cinderella man .

Cinderella man, what a movie! All you get from the movie is how to kill someone in a ring, not to mention there isn’t any Cinderella in it!! What is a movie without Cinderella? ;) How dare filmmakers abuse Cinderella’s name these days!!
This Cinderella-less-movie is the story of this dedicated dad who is willing to do anything to bring milk to the table. Watching this movie I could finally put my thoughts into words:
If you are poor and alone, you are still lucky, but if you are poor and have kids then you have nothing to do with luck and all u are dealing with is “pain”. This is what I call the biggest pain of all and nothing could torture you more than seeing your kids sleeping hungry :(

I love the movies that are based on true stories and Cinderella man is one of them. Although the story is so cliché , this movie somehow touched me, and made me realize that I am still one of the luckiest ppl, even though I may take the dream of having my favorite watch and many more dreams to the grave ;). Me, I can handle , but kids and not having enough money to even feed them , I don’t think so!!!!!

Moral of story: First, Even though you don’t have the rich dad, don’t be disappointed, find that rich husband so you can always have fresh milk in your refrigerator .Second, never ever let a film title deceive you !! Finally, Russell Crowe "Rocks", not as a dedicated dad, but as an amazing actor, so always watch his movies!Trust me in this one ;)

Sooner or Later...

2006-12-14T22:09:00.001-08:00

Coffee beans, just like ppl,
They can sit on your kitchen counter,
Hide in a sealed bag for a long time,
Loose their color, taste, and odor,
Or sooner or later they can be grinded,
be brewed,
And that’s when you can say if they are
Earthy, nutty, smoky, spicy, or sweet,
And that is when the brewed coffee makes the difference
Difference of making the medical student to stay up all night
and ace the exam,
Do you understand?
Do you?

If you want to bring out your smell and taste,
Sooner or Later
You have to be grinded,
It’s just a matter of time,
And I believe in sooner,
but I don't practice my beliefs,

So now you know why I am not a big fan of coffee beans
Their looks alone doesn’t do it for me,
I wanna taste them
Smell them,
And learn to love them grinded

And I wish you knew how many ppl envy you,
You are walking on crusted snow
And I am watching you from the top floor ,
I see the envious shadow that follows you
So, believe me!
Believe me,
And start to love grinded beans..
And continue walking on crusted snow...
I am watching you...

بگو ای یار بگو

2006-12-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

بگو ای یار بگو
ای وفادار بگو
از سربلندعشق برسرداربگو
بگو ازخونه بگو
از گل پونه بگو
از شب شب زده ها که نمی مونه بگو

بگوازمحبوبه ها
نسترن های بنفش
سقره های بی ریا روی سبزه زار فرش
بگو ای یار بگو
که دلم تنگ شده
رو زمین جا ندارم
اسمون سنگ شده

بگو از شب کوچه ها
پرسه های بی هدف
کوچه باغ انتظار
بوی بارون و علف
بگو از کلاغ پیر که به خونه نرسید
از بهارقصه ها که سرشاخه تکید
بگو ای یار بگو
ای وفادار بگو

After 4

2006-12-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

Finally I am back . It’s been few days that I wanted to come and see missing piece, but somehow everyday passed me before I could catch it .
During last week almost everything night I felt like writing something, yeh I wanted to write…

I wanted to write how last Wednesday when my I pod chose یکی بود یکی نبودfor me, I suddenly went back to 3 years ago and I remembered how my first scrap on orkut was مثل شب مثل شراب تو پر از وسوسه ای.It reminded me the times that I sang it for papaya .Wow, how fast time flies, and how much I still loveeeeeeeeeeeee this song, I guess something beautiful will always stay beautiful....

I wanted to post more pics for Papaya from her Snowy City while I still don’t get why she likes my stupid pics . Well, maybe after her mind being f***** with her Anatomy and histology books , then my pics seems to come from heaven. Whatever her reason is, I just wanted to take advantage and post some for her ;)

I wanted to write about how again seeing my “old memory” made my heart aching and it was then that I asked myself why I can’t get over my stupid stupid feelings. I tried to find an answer for it, but the more I thought, the more I started to refresh my memory and I didn’t wanna do that , so I concluded that every time that u decide to like an aerobic creature , u leave a piece of your heart behind, and you can’t just claim it back,So you better try to live with the remaining piece and make the best out of it.....

I wanted to write about my new haircut and how much I hate it, and how the candian hairstylists never get that I don’t want to look like mushroom or a 50 year woman. I was complaining about my last haircut and never knew that worst than bad actually does exist and I am no exception of being the victim .......

I wanted to write about how one day I lost my voice because of my sore throat, and the other day lostmy appetite because of my nausea.. I want to talk about viruses and my hatred toward them as they never go away with antibiotics....

I wanted to post a pic of the biggest snow man that I have ever seen and talk about how every single person that passed that snow man poke it and when finally I got there to take a pic with the frosty, frosty was not the same cute frosty anymore. Well the rule is so simple, first come, first serve. World is based on these 4 tiny words.....

I wanted to write the lyrics of beautiful from James Blunt cause one night I heard that song after a long time and I really loved it cause beautiful is what I went through at one point....

Yeh , I wanted to do all that, but every night I just passed out before I could even turn on my computer. Yesterday, however, was a different story cause I really wanted to leave some footsteps (as papaya says it) on missing piece. I really love missing piece , it’s somewhere that belongs to me and only me and I can write my mind and my heart without thinking about anything or anyone around me. To me, missing piece is my little carefree world that is embraced by the real cruel world .
I really wanted to write something yesterday but by the time that I got home and got inot my pjs, nothing looked better than my pillow …so history repeated itself again;)
Well,I missed yesterday and so many days before, but I thought today is my last opportunity to make up for yesterday, so here I am writing and my writing is all over the place , but the best news is that I am ok with it and I really don’t care about it any more. it’s been a year and eventhough I didn’t make it to Harvard Medical school or the cover of Hello magazine ;) at least my attitude toward a lot of things including writing has changed.
So, here I am writing and loving my imperfect pieces. Recently I came to believe that life is all about loving your imperfections rather than perfections!!
Anyways, yesterday was a very important day in missing piece’ calendar. A year ago, on December,08 I decided to have my own blog ( Thanks to my dear friend, Farhad, who introduced me to the bloggers’ world at the first place). The day that I started it, I never thought it could last for 1 year, but it did , and I am sure from now on it will get better day after day cause I believe in missing piece..so Happy Birthday Missing Piece!!

Again last minute!!

2006-12-01T23:23:00.000-08:00

Just one day, yes one day I went to downtown after a long time and that was enough for me to get sick….now besides burning in my skin I have a really bad sore throat and nothing from honey to pills seems to be helpful. My parents are leaving in two days, and I have a lotttttttt of stuff to do. I have about 72 hours to spend with my parents and I am a complete mess, and yes for the gazillionth time I left everything for the last minute and right before my dead line I got sick.So not fair, it always happens to me. Let's face it I am not the only person who leaves everything for the last minute, but I bet I am one of the few ppl who Miraculously get sick just before her deadline.. I don’t know when I’ll learn to not leave everything for the last minute!! I guess no matter what, I ‘ll never change, never learn my lesson and that sucks. Seriously, sucks and right now I suck at writing but since I can’t sleep, I thought of getting this out my system and where can be better than missing piece: host of my craps every now and then!!…. Actually yesterday something amazingggggggg happened and I wanted to write about it, but my high fever and sore throat didn’t leave room for anything, so I am planning to write about it soon. Maybe next week when I am off drugs .

SnOwEMbEr ;)

2006-11-29T17:57:00.000-08:00

It was three days ago that finally after a month or so I decided to go to downtown, Robson to be more specific!

To go to BCBG and just try couple of dresses, look at myself in the mirror, fall in love with all of them and then the minute that I see the price tag I forget all about love , and believe that love is just something that fill in the loneliness of your heart, and nothing more .

I wanted to see ppl again.
I wanted to see those cute and hot guys in suites, the ones who wear pink ties with light gray shirts! Don’t get me wrong, by ppl I don’t mean just those hot suits; I mean ppl of all ages, races and …. I miss ppl after one week of staying in the house, and yes, suites happened to be on the top of my list ;)
I wanted to get a 24 from someone who always stands at the corner of Burrard and Robson and begs ppl to get a copy of 24.
Finally, I just wanted to get a hot chocolate
and drink,
and walk,
and think,
and take pictures,
and listen to music till my feet could not take anymore steps, and my hands could not hold anything, but a bus pass!! Yep, that was the plan ;)
So for those exciting reasons I decided to wake up early and get going, and suddenly there I was again standing in our door step ,but this time the white color of the lawn shocked me , not the leaves or our gayish neighbor!!!

.

… nowI knew in my heart that I have more reasons to remember November. I have been here for years now and haven’t witnessed a white November till three days ago…

Seeing snow, I forgot about everything from 24 to hot chocolate. To be very honest, not everything cause I couldn’t forget about my camera when everything was white..

I don’t know what is it about snow that makes me to love it so much. Maybe I love it cause we don’t have that much snow in our rainy city, but then I know my reasons are beyond this.

Maybe it was the closure of schools , but now I don’t go to school, and no one is even here to make a snowman with me, so that can’t be the reason for my excitment either…

Maybe sometimes I just have to like things without reasons, and maybe I should stop looking for reasons...
That day, I didn’t go out, but the day after finally I decided to go out, I wanted ice cream. I kid you not, suddenly I wanted Ice cream and suddenly that small Chinese supermarket looked even better than any other huge fancy supermarket.

So there I was ready to get going, and as I was wearing my lousy sweat pants I saw my ski pants in a box at the corner of my room which by the way looks more like a junk yard rather than a girl’s room now. Finally, my ski pants came in handy and I could used them, so I wore them and when I was leaving the house, my sister couldn’t stop laughing when she saw me in my sky pants. Honestly as long as I was all warm and happy I didn’t care if everyone would make fun of me or think I am crazy. After all I had paid too much for those pants and barely used them,so that day the opportunity presented itself and I had to take revenge!!!

Few minutes later, I left the house to get ice cream;instead, I ended up under the tree, and in the middle of icy streets with my camera.

Finally when I was so close to completely freeze from head to toe, and it was all dark, I decided to came home.

I came home and nothing looked white anymore .In fact, I was surrendered with orange, yellow and red colors and that was when I thought maybe sitting in front of a warm colorful fire was my reason for loving snow so much!

Hmmmmmm Follow-Up

2006-11-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

This morning before posting the pic for Hmmmmmmmmm, I hesitated a bit. I thought who would post a pic from her/his butt? I was just playing with its shades using picasa that my sister came and saw it. She said “if I were u I wouldn’t put such a pic anywhere, let alone my own page”. Well, I wanted to listen to her, but I thought why do I have to always pick my best pic?( not that I always do,but I try ;)
What is wrong with this pic? It’s a decent temptation scene after alll ;)
I was just analyzing this huge problem that I heard a familiar voice in my head, he came again and was whispering:

من نمی دانم که چرا می گویند: اسب حیوان نجیبی است , کبوترزیباست
و چرا در قفس هیچکسی کرکس نیست
گل شبدر چه کم از لاله قرمز دارد
چشم ها را باید شست
جور دیگر باید دید

Suddenly I had a flash back to my childhood, when I used to draw. I was about 8 that I started drawing. My instructor was this very cute old man with glasses, Mr. Hojabr! He was from Tehran, so I loved his accent and the way he dressed was so neat. He always wore vest and that looked so artistic to me ;)
Basically he was the first male that I was attracted to. Weird ha? ha ha ha
Anyways, I remember how I had to create an exact copy of my drawing model for him;otherwise, he would pick on the slightest mistake that I made and ask me to draw it again.Sometimes,I had to draw something over and over again in order to make it right.
I believe I was his student for about 4 consecutive summers. Even after that whenever I drew something, I tried to make an exact copy. My drawing had to be perfect, and that was the beginning of a perfectionist-missing piece.
Perfectionist, I was so proud to be one, and I would go out of my way to make everything perfect, but now that I think about it , it’s just waste of energy and time.
I try not to care about a lot of things anymore. It’s not that I changed my attitude over night , but I believe I came a long way. At least now, I can post a pic of my butt in missing piece, and write whatever I want , not whatever sounds perfect.If it was few years ago, thinking about it was a sin , leting alone doing it.
So here I am at the beginning of my imperfect path and trying to love it, cause loving what is perfect is not hard!

Hmmmmmmm...

2006-11-25T11:49:00.000-08:00

Temptation is fun...
giving in is even better.

بیا درویش بشیم ,خاکی و بی ریا شیم

2006-11-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

بیا درویش بشیم ,خاکی و بی ریا شیم
قفل تن رو بشکنیم از من و ما رها شیم
بیا پروانه صفت به دور هم بگردیم
زیر چتر معرفت یک دل و یک صدا شیم
زندگی با کبر صفا نداره ,عالم فانی وفا نداره
اونایی که خاکی ان عاشقه دل پاکی ان
پیشه خدا عزیزن و شاه و گدا نداره
افتاده شو ,مغرور نباش
پروانه شو ,بی نور نباش
بیا درویش بشیم ,خاکی و بی ریا شیم
قفل تن رو بشکنیم از من و ما رها شیم

From Craving to Fall

2006-11-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

Have u notice that sometimes seeing stuff doesn’t make u to notice them, and u only notice them when u really have to do something about them, with them or more. Well it happens to me all the time.
These days I am craving pasta so much and no one makes it for me, so today finally I decided to take some action and make some , not just for me, for everyone else too .See, I am generous, I just don’t make food for myself, I feed the army as well. Since we never have anything pasta related at home, I decided to go shopping first . After all I needed fresh lemons, tomatoes and parsley. For my mouth watering pasta everything has to be fresh. I left my place early in the morning and by early I mean not earlier than 10:00 ;) I was all dressed up and ready to hit the road, but everything changed the minute I opened the house main door. I saw our neighbor: that skinny guy who is married and I always question his marriage since I think he is gay. Honestly he is so gayish, if not gay , he is bi for sure. Anyways, I saw him getting rid of leaves, and then I looked at our lawn, which was covered with red, orange, yellow, and brown leaves, and suddenly it hit me! Yes, Fall is here. Actually fall was here a long time ago, but since I didn’t go to school, I did not noticed it…..omg I have to do something to bring green back again.
6 hours later, the lawn is green, the pasta is cooked with the help of fresh lemons, garlic, tomatoes, missing piece's hidden talent in cooking and my magic hands.
Finally the pasta is there, and everybody loves it except me, I think it’s so tasteless, but my mom is saying “food never taste good to the cook”, she just wanna make me happy by saying that, and I know my cooking wouldn’t get me a rich handsome boy friend like Lori’s in Gilmore girls ! I need to work on my cooking more,be less stubborn,and start to believe in some books called “cooking books”.

Remember, Remember the 4th of November

2006-11-20T14:34:00.000-08:00

It’s 2:15 a.m and I have to sleep. Tonight is a different night, I either sleep or ruin my last month: the lonely October I am referring to ;). My heartbeat is not promising, so I decide to go green, but not full green as I don't wanna decrease the heartbeat more that enogh. Half green would do it for me.
Before sleeping I make sure to set my alarm for 6:30 a.m.

6:30 a.m ..bip bip bip bip bip bip…Noooooooo, it’s already morning.Time flies especially when u are damn tired... Finally I had to do it and at that point I didn't want to do it.
Well what else would you expect, I was dealing with me who always chickens out at the last minute, so I slept. I don’t know based on what, but I slept and I could be sleeping too much to ruin the 4th of November.
And again at 6:59 a.m I heard something, but this time it wasn’t my alarm, I took a look at my cell, and I knew that I had to follow the order that I was given. Suddenly, I was all happy, smiling and ready to finish what I had started months ago. I knew that I had to get up and put an end to my insomnia and anything that ends with AT. So I did what I had to do, I left my bed with a smile on my face, wore my navy sweat pants, the ones that I always wear at desperate times, stood as tall as I could, and in no time I was where I had to be .
That day I saw the difference that few powerful sincere words can make,I felt the magic of emotional support and that’s why I decided to “Rise and Shine”.After all I was the freaking star of the show for one day ;]

Lucky number seven

2006-11-19T22:53:00.000-08:00

May Seven brings you best of luck this year
HaPpY BiRtHDaY ;)

p.s please don't leave a comment about how amazing I am at photography, I already know it... :]

I Blame "Time"

2006-11-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

Standing there,
Nothing behind me is exciting enough to look at,
What is ahead is far out of my blurry vision,

Standing there,
I decide to pin point me,
So I turn my head,
and look over my shoulders,
but I don’t see anything,
I glaze so hard to see ,
To see me, and where I am standing,
And no, glazing is not the answer,
The feeling is not there,
and I can't blame my vision,
I can't even blame me,
then I blame "time"

Standing there,
I am frozen
Frozen and lost in time…

I kid you NOT!!!

2006-11-15T22:00:00.000-08:00

It was about 46 days ago that I wish upon stars and asked for “peace of mind”. Well now that I think about it, I was so naïve to ask for peace of mind while I don’t have the very basic necessities of life.
Today I noticed that no matter how much I ask for something, I might easily not get it. Every time that I look for my seat in the plane , I just hope to not find my seat right beside a damn little baby who just cries non-stop during the flight and makes me nuts.
Three days ago, finally for the first time in Canada (I kid you not), for the first time I found my seat far away from new moms and their little crying dolls, but my luck didn’t last as there were 2 seats empty in my row and the flight attendant asked a new mom and her 9 month old daughter to come and join me, and that was when I really believed in my luck!!
Well, whenever you think something is bad, then something beyond bad happens and makes you to just shut your mind and never categorize anything under the bad list. Today, I ended up being surrounded with eight Chinese plus a baby who made sure to not even miss one minute and cried all the time. How unlucky someone can be?!!?!?! For me it is always like that, When I hate something it happens to me before I know it . So there I was trapped in the plane with the Chinese crowd speaking Chinese loudly, the little brat, my hands, one heavy heart, a confused mind, a napkin, my I pod , and a black pen.....

..and here is that last place I could be....

2006-10-24T03:06:00.000-07:00

Almost 12:00
I feel so tired and sleepy.I had about 4-5 hours of sleep last night, the night before, and the night before “the night before” and ….
Tonight, I have a feeling that I ‘ll pass out before even seeing my pillow ;)

2:56 a.m
I saw my pillow N times, checked my watch N + 1 times, opened that thick green and white book and guessed some front views, back views , and some holes. I learned how to make lemon chicken from Barefoot Contessa . I listened to him, assuming his voice would clear my mind and shut my eyes!!

من آن موجم که آرامش ندارم
به آسانی سر سازش ندارم

هميشه در گريز و در گذارم
نمی مانم به يکجا بی قرارم

سفر يعنی من و گستاخی من
هميشه رفتن و هرگز نماندن

هزاران ساحل و ناديده ديدن
به پرسش های بی پاسخ رسيدن

Well, after listening to him for almost 30 minutes, I have learned that his voice triggered my sympathetic nervous system instead!!!!

Missing Piece is the last place that I could be for the night. I am sitting here typing and looking at the green pill that I got from my dad 3 nights ago.
The pill is sitting there and I can’t take it cause I don’t believe in it. Maybe I should let go of my so called believing-in-things–attitude and take the damn pill .After all that tiny little thing makes my life easier!!!
What else can I do , ha?
Oh my God, I haven’t count the stars in sky yet!!! Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaa…
Maybe I meant to end the night and my insomnia with the stars ;)
I better go counting..
Good night!
3:18

zamoone, zamooneie dozdie, dozd be dozd mizane....

2006-10-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

Missing Piece

Important to have friends ;)

2006-09-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

I wish upon them.

2006-09-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

Stars, stars, my old friends stars,
I look at the stars,
And wish upon them,
I don’t wish to touch them,
No, I don’t
I am not Anoushe,
I don’t wanna go that far,
Far was never my thing,
Then what is my wish,
I look at them again,
They are so get-together
So shinny,
So calm
So gorgeous
Now, I am jealous!!

They remind me of my city,
Kerman,
City of stars,
I miss watching them from our roof
I miss so many other things,
But missing doesn’t mean anything really,
Missing doesn’t matter anymore,

I look at them again and think of my wish
My dream,
My life,
What is it?
Med school, that penthouse, or the Rolex watch,
I wonder,
But I shouldn’t wonder,
I should know,
And I know
I know that those are not my dreams,
I lost my dream somewhere , sometime
Sometime when I didn’t care enough to look at stars for a minute
And now I wonder about them,
I look at the stars and I know
This time I know what I want
I want “peace of mind”,
So I gaze at them and I wish so hard upon them….
May stars welcome me after all these years.
Lets wish for that first!

How much is your dream?

2006-09-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

My parents are back from Iran, and that means I am always at their place.
Staying at their place means sleeping on sofa.
Sleeping on sofa is not as bad you think,but it means waking up no later than 8:30 a.m.
8:30 a.m and me , I don’t think so!!!!
Well, thanks God there is always a TV in the living room, right in front of sofa!! So, all I have to do is to set the timer at 8:00 and on CNN.

…oh no, not again, these CNN reporters are going on my nerves early in the morning; I didn’t mind Anderson cooper, but apparently he likes to sleep in the morning, just like me!!!
I was just about to get the remote and turn the TV off that I heard “Anoushe Ansari”, the first female space tourist, scheduled to launch to the international space station on Monday.
What??? I got so excited and removed the blanket to see her picture . Waite a minute , I have seen her before somewhere.Oh, yeh on the cover of a magazine years ago and now she will be in the history books for years to come.
I heard her name, the name that not only inspired me, but also, a lot of females, a nation, and the world.
She is not only the 4th space tourist. She is the first female Space tourist, the first Iranian space tourist .
To her the limit wasn’t sky, it was space .I heard her name and questioned myself and my limits.
She always wondered about the space and now she lives in her dream, and from now on she is the dream itself.
If she could make her dream come true and go to space, so do you and me. There is a difference between our dreams though cause I would never dream about something as expensive as a 20 million dollar trip. Would you?
What is the price of my dream? I don’t know!
Maybe my dreams are very cheap and that’s why I can’t achieve them.
Maybe if they were more expensive then I would try harder to make them come true.Maybe…Maybe..Maybe…
I just know that every cell of my body is excited about Anoushe's dream and if she went to space , the least we can do is to make our earthy dreams come true.
How does it feel to live your dreams?
Have you ever wondered?
I always do…..

:Talk is Cheap!

2006-09-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

: Don’t you see it ??????????
: Yes I see it, and ppl see it too, then why the one doesn’t see it?
: Well, I know u see it ,but through your eyes and your mind .
: What do u mean?
: I mean maybe to you that’s not even enough, but to the one, that's the one, The ideal. What else could someone ask for?
: The ideal????????
: Yes, the ideal, maybe you want more for the one. Maybe this time, you don’t see what ppl see.
: I still don’t get it !!!
: Look at it this way , ppl have to approve things they have, not u , so shut up and don’t interfere, and don’t think childish, and be realistic, and stop criticizing and judging ppl for what they choose, and do me a favor, please don’t tell me who is good for who, and,and,and
: I never did, but I always wondered.
: Well, didn’t someone told you that “Knowing is better than wondering” so now still wanna be a wonderer, or wanna be normal, just like your friends.
: I don’t wanna be a wonderer, I don’t wanna be a dreamer. Sometimes I just loose it, and I need time to get things out of my system.
: You can't loose it. U could loose it 10 years ago, not now. There aren't any dolls left for u to play with . Well on the other hand, you can loose it for the rest of your life if u want to.It's your life and your choice. By the way do you want to know why you loose it?
: yeh,Why?
: Cause u have time to loose it, or maybe you have nothing to worry about and you sit there and loose it….
: Or maybe you could say that I have too much to worry about and I loose it.
: What? Now you are talking non-sense. What do u have to worry about?
: ah ah, Please don’t tell me you know me inside out .Don’t tell me u know that I have nothing to worry about and please don't see my life through your perfect Chanel sun glasses.
: You are so rude. You are making fun me.
: Rude maybe , but I was serious about your Chanel sun glasses.
: whatever...
: Yeh, you are right,whatever!!! let's finish this talk cause talk is cheap!!

2006-09-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

..... nothing.....

I simply forgot to add water!

2006-09-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

It’s after midnight and I am hungry. I wanna eat something and the last thing that worries me is my weight, so the decision is made and I am heading to the kitchen .
Lets see, we do have chips, but I just can’t have them anymore. I am fed up with junk food. Real food , that’s what I want. How about some “kateh”, but then we don’t have ketchup, so I decide to settle for the next best thing which is Penne Pasta.
Now, all I need is to boil some water with pasta, add sauce, and bingo I have real food.
Is it really the definition of real food , or I am setting a bad example here?!?!? Whatever!!!!!! Like I care about food industry and examples.
So to begin, I grab a frying pan to boil some water. Waite a minute, Frying pans for boiling water? Of courseee, only if missing piece is “the iron chef”. I put the pan on the oven, and turn it on to its maximum heat, and am about to fill it with water, but my brother is calling me and I am leaving the kitchen.
Ten minutes later, something smells. OooooooooopS, I forgot all about water, and the frying pan is frying alone. I run to the kitchen, move the pan from the oven, turn it off, open the window to get rid of the smell and suddenly, I hear something. Wow, it’s harmonic. It’s always been there, I have heard it too many times, but this time, I decide to notice it and listen to it religiously other than just hearing it.
I stand there for few minutes and listen. It sounds so pure, so sincere,so original and so fresh.
I Listen and ask myself “why I haven’t been noticing this amazing sound for ages?”.
I remember how I loved to listen to the sound of rain when I moved from a city with a sky full of stars to a city with a sky full of clouds years ago .
Well, I guess we are people, and for people the most amazing things could get boring and ordinary.
I guess we are ppl, and capable of taking the most beautiful things for granted if they are around for so long.
We are ppl, those who never appreciate things they have and chase things they don’t have .
I was drowned in my thoughts when my brother who was sitting in the living room mentioned the bad smell and how horrible I am at cooking.
He thought I burnt the food as always, and seriously I didn’t want him to know that this time I went one step further and burnt the frying pan, so I was happy with the horrible cook label;)

I don’t see the photographer, but..

2006-09-17T16:37:00.000-07:00

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30

…I see coffee, sun, mirrors, GRE, shopping bags, blue flip flops, long hair, a green water bottle wrapped in bounty, “them”, and I see the difference that 30 seconds can make…what do u see?

ای که حرفهای قشنگت من اشتی داده با من , من و گنجشکهای خونه دیدنت عادتمونه

2006-09-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Every time you open one of Paulo Coelho’s books, you face an introduction in which ppl from different places talk about how he had changed their lives with his writing. Well few days ago, when I was in a stage that nothing mattered anymore and if did, I didn’t care!
The stage that everything went on my nerves, but I simply didn’t give a damn about my nerves, let alone things on them.
Days that I could not use my forever-and-always friend, “depression”, as an excuse anymore. Anyways, it was then that I decided to get rid of missing piece.Maybe deleting missing piece could do something good, sick mentality , ha?
That day, I turned on my computer, clicked on Internet explorer and went to my favorites. I was about to click on missing piece, but I clicked on Papaya’s page, knowing that she doesn’t have time to update her site, but I had to try and see it to believe it. Well, this time I was wrong and after zillion days, she actually updated Papaya.
I am infinity... there I was reading her posts and she got me.
I don’t know if I should mention this here. I am scared to talk about my feelings these days, I think if I put them into words , they loose their virtues and I loose them forever , and this I don’t want to happen!!!
Well, I always believe in life, no matter which way u go, u face some unpleasant consequences, so should I be worried about choosing the right or wrong way? Who cares, ha? Who said that I always have to make the right decisions? Where did those right decisions get me so far? So I might as well try some wrong ones or whatever that is not right..
Now, since I decided to make the wrong decision and talk about my feelings, I have to say: she created a piece and she will never know how her writing penetrated in every single cell of my body, and I am not B.Sing.
I guess she will never know that I read her post 4 times and thought about her sentences for long.
I thought about early birds, being lost, the floating line between desire and need, the bottomless glass, the lies I could tell, the rules I could break, the perfection that falls into crap, never trying, today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug, the cage, the denial ocean, and the list goes on…
She rewinds Dr. Gray’s speech, I rewind Dr. Papaya’s, and some fool will rewind mine someday, and this is called circle-of-broken-rights.. Obviously no rights are reserved here. Don’t you agree?
I guess she will never know that she can change lives with her Papaya.Yeh that web log of her which probably is just a place to kill some of her time, could make some one like me to use her brain for a minute, try to open her eyes, see the bitter truth, and get out of her denial cave.
Interesting life, one is killing time and one is benefiting from it.
I really did not wanted to let this whole thing out , but I couldn’t help it(Didn't I just mention this above??!?! ) . As much as I am so so so so so scared of showing any sort of feelings, I had to let her know that no matter where she is , she still can a make difference in my life. Most importantly I had to let her know that she saved a part of me: Missing piece!

چنان از اصل خود دورم

2006-09-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Mansour

Daricheh

DanceAge.com

اواره

EVERTHING for nothing

2006-09-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

I know it’s wrong,
I know it’s wasting energy,
I know it’s a road to no where,
steps toward destruction,
but I STILL Do IT ANYWAYS.
Well I am not the only one, a lot of ppl have been there and done that, I just don’t get this whole story, true or false, I don't f***ing get it.
It’s the worst battle I have ever been in, the battle of heart vs mind. Sounds so cliché I know, but it’s what it is.
I keep telling myself this is the last time, but the last time never comes,NEVER.
The weird part is that I don’t expect to get anything out of it. I demand nothing!!! Sometimes I wish that I was more demanding cause this way the minute my wishes weren’t fulfilled, I would get myself out of this mess .
I wanna pretend that it doesn’t hurt, but it does; it does more thanI believe, so the question is why am I doing something that is not suppose to have a happy ending, something that is not going anywhere and even if it did, I didn’t want it.
I wonder why?
I wonder why I can’t let go of NOTHING,
why I do everything for nothing,
and why while I know the difference between true and false, I still choose to be false.
I see the signs and ignore them or tend to see them “just the way I want them”.
Seeing a dead-end street and believing in a highway, yep that’s me!!!! No wonder my driver license is still class 7. I need to use my brain more or I’ll never be a good driver!

Good Morning!!!

2006-08-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

I am asleep, and I feel something is moving in my bed .I tell myself : “I am dreaming” and ignore the movement.
It moves again and again, and I can’t ignore it anymore.
What if it’s a soosk? It is getting scary now.
Scared, I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is my window. I glaze at it, and see fresh air and dim light that is starting to grow.

I am stunned by light, but I still don’t know what is moving in my bed, so I take a look at the far end of my bed and I see someone is watching me….I guess he was watching me for a long time and couldn’t waite any longer, so he decided to move and announce his presence

I get up, take a closer look, and wanna say Good Morning!!

but he wants to play. It seems he missed me while I was asleep, so I try to play with him for a while, but washroom is calling me.Unfortunately, I have to leave my bed and its mysterious guest alone now.

Coming back to my room, I wanna breath fresh air ,so I go to the balcony and all I see is light, life, and hope!

Sounds like a good beginning for a sunny day in Van.

Mornings were my favorite part of the day, and I could never believe a friend when she said “ every morning I wake up with pain” .Now, I know what she means. I feel it cause latelyevery day I wake up with pain. It’s the worst feeling ever.

Well, I have to start my day cause I think pain is temporarily, maybe not, but this is what I want to believe.

I have to wake up now or my day will be wasted!

گریه سهم دل تنگه

2006-08-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

I stood there, and witnessed her leaving,and left the airport as soon as I could. I hate AIRPORTS. Simply hate them.
Now I was driving, city was dark, and for the first time I felt like a stranger.
It was so quite, and I decided to push PLAY : Inja ghoroobe nazanin , donya dorooghe nazanin, to shahreh ghorbat zendegi che bi fooroghe nazanin…Vaghti ke tanhayee miad ,setaree dar nemiad , omid mondan nadaram..khashteh shodam az in roozaye bikasi, ey hamseda pas ke bedadam miresi..

Nazanin reminded me of her birthday and how someone kept calling her Nazanin. For the first time Mansour was singing a sad song, so I pressed STOP and looked at that yellow paper that she gave at the last minute; I couldn’t touch it while I was driving. I drove all the way from Airport to downtown and I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t feel the streets, the lights, the signs and the time.
I was lucky that I was in the parking now. I saw the yellow paper again and started reading, it was not easy . Finally, I got to a point that I couldn’t read anymore , so I left the car and went up while I couldn’t stop crying.
I tried to enter quietly. I really didn’t wanna wake my sister up. I went to my bed and in no time she was in my room. That was when I knew no matter how hard one tries , sometimes your effort is just pointless.
I hate crying in front of ppl, but I had to do it .
I couldn’t pretend.
It was my right to do it.
I knew I had to cry or I would never be able to go on with my life .
I remembered siavash ghomeyshi saying:
گریه کن گریه قشنگه گریه سهم دل تنگه
گریه کن گریه غروبه مرهم این راه دوره
هق‎‎سر بده آواز هق‎
خالی کن دلی که تنگه
گریه کن گریه قشنگه گریه قشنگه

So I cried more, and passed out in my bed
knowing tomorrow I have no one to call,
knowing this city will never be the same,
knowing this is life, the ongoing thing that keeps hurting you and fighting you,
knowing I have to gain back my strenght and wake up tomorrow.

"here are some presents from my past to you"

2006-08-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

Interesting!
It was two days ago that Dr F. and I were talking about how we made a pact to meet in 10 years and it was yesterday that Papar was talking about it .

Our distance is not an ocean , it’s a Continent, it’s thousand kilometers, and to us that is nothing but a number and its unit( was it SI ?..don’t remember, don’t care and happy to be done with all those craps).
Anyways, this is how we wanted it to be.
I just got so excited when I saw Papar still remembers us , and our promises.
It feels good to know your friend thinks of the same think you do regardless of the number,
to know that you didn't just invest on all the craps from fake ppl to usless courses such as the one with Dr. Li, a woman who could barley speak English and excepted you to answer all of her brutal questions about those stupid plants!!!
It feels awesome to be able to tell your future “ here are some presents from my past to you” , to know that you are taking something with you and that thing is nothing but a friend who still reads the horoscopes and still wanna meet up in 7 years….

That smell...

2006-08-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

I was just walking, and suddenly I smelled something. I didn’t know what it was for years and still can’t tell what it is. I just know that I hated it years ago.
What was it? Really, what is it?
Maybe it’s the chlorine smell that was mixed with water vapor, maybe not, who cares!?!?.
I smelled and saw that summer. The summer in which the more I learned about psychology, the more I diagnosed mental diseases in myself, and the more disease I diagnosed, the lower marks I got.
The summer that Papar was learning how to say je t'aime and I was feeling it…
I still remember the day that I went and told her how lucky I was that I was not taking anything other than psychology cause I was sure I would fail it.. I still remember how messed up my mind was.
The smell went beyond that summer, it went to the next fall, the fall in which the black Monday happened…Maybe that smell showed her the way, the way to freedom, the one that was taken away in her golden ages.

The smell was not only chlorine,
it was my loneliness,
my anxiety before organic midterms,
our break downs,
our tea and cinnamon bun breaks,
us, reading and falling asleep on our classical study notes.
It was our conference room every Mon, Wed, Fri right after our virology class, PARABABLY it was our FAKOUS session for our next class …. .

Today while smelling it again, I noticed every thing had changed except the smell .It was the same smell, and surprisingly enough I loved it this time.
To avoid temptation ,I tried to walk faster . It was dangerous, and I knew if I follow it, I would break into tears. Tears of memories, happy or sad.
I knew I was done! Really done!!That chapter was closed forever.

and in no time I wasn't feeling gravity anymore....

2006-08-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

I don’t feel gravity anymore.
I am light, and it’s not because of the sun.
It all happened that day when I couldn’t sit there anymore. I knew if I sat there one more minute, my heart would explode. I had to leave as I couldn’t breath easily. My inner voice screamed at me, and I left my seat.
I ran downstairs and went out of the building, sat down, and looked around like a newborn. I didn’t know what I was doing there.
I grabbed my phone and dialed 604…. hoping to hear a voice, a voice that could listen to me. I talked and opened my heart. I spoke my mind, I expressed me, the confuse wanderer in the rainy city.I talked and talked, and the phone was listening .The more I talked, and the more the phone listened, the lighter I became .
I realized it was time, I had to either take the risk and challenge it or go back to the donjon of my own thoughts; go back to my seat, sit there long enough so I could choke my inner voice and consequently me!
I didn’t want that for me, I wanted to crush that seat to million pieces so I could never be able to miss that miserable empty wooden chair!!
I paused for a minute and my mind saw it, the second chance, and as simple as that I decided to take it .
I knew for sure that I didn't belong to that seat anymore, so I hung up the phone went back to the donjon, but this time I went there to pack up my stuff, my heart and my mind instead of sitting in my chair. I left the building and suddenly I felt light. The more I walked, the lighter I felt, and in no time I wasn’t feeling gravity anymore.......

Kateh + Chillies

2006-08-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone who doesn’t have a clue about me would take me to a restaurant for kabab, especially koobideh. Anyone who knows me enough can tell that I am the master chief when it comes to making “KATEH” instead of “RICE” and any one who knows me inside out can tell that my specialty is KATEH with some ketchup on top. Well don’t be amazed if you made some kateh that tasted like chuck, you wouldn’t mind some ketchup on top.
These days, I eat chillies with kateh and since chillies are too hot for me , I add some ketchup , hoping the sweetness of ketchup would cover the taste of chillies.
Think about it for a minute and you ‘ll conclude that something is missing in Missing piece’s brain.
Why would anyone eat chillies while one is covering the hotness with ketchup.
What is the point of having chillies then?
Why not just plain kateh + ketchup and no chillies?
I just don’t know and this tells me there are still too many things that I don’t know about Missing Piece.Interesting life, just when you think you know yourself inside out, something comes along and shock you about you!
My passion is learning about ppl ,their character, and their behavior. I try to find a connection between ppl’s attitude and the way they dress, eat, write, talk, and so on.
Now, I think one could easily find a connection between ppl’s attitude and the food they love, so the connection between me and my new recipe ( kateh, chillies, and ketchup)?? hmmm, lets leave this mystery hanging in the air!

In Love Again .

2006-08-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

I don’t believe in love, and I believe Love is just the excuse that ppl need to justify their actions, or fulfill their needs.
L O V E by itself is nothing if it is not conditioned by other things. Love is nothing but $ , M.D, ,Obsession, habit,Tiffany & Co,CEO, 11 minutes, , maserati, penthouse, yacht and the list goes on…...
I never thought I would fall in love again, but there I was with "the one" at the same place. The first time we met, I said yeh he is cute , but I never wanted to give my heart away. I have done it before and it’s a huge mistake since the last thing ppl care these days is your heart. That night he tried to make himself sweet and I knew that was a trick , and didn't want to fall for it but the minutes that I started to think about him, I knew I was in for a bumpy ride. After that night, I started talking about him with nam name baroon, thinking about him, and got to a point that I had to see him again, but I couldn’t do anything, I wish I was the type who could approach, but I can’t, it is just not me, I prefer to let go , keep my ego and go through the shit . I am not a fighter and I 've heard that, I can’t be a lover if I am not a fighter..how sad is that.
I waited.Only God knows how much I hate waiting.
I waited ,thinking about him and wondered if he even remembers me. Just about the time that he was going to be history ,a kind of history that stays mystery for ever( my expertise), I heard from him, and now he is here, by my side, or I should say I am here by his side ;)
He is simply the best,
better than all the rest,
better than anyone,
anyone I 've ever met...
He never makes noises when I am asleep. Eats the same food every day and never complains. Every morning I wake up and see him standing in front of my door, glazing at me, that’s when I can seethe passion in his eyes and feel that he missed me while I was asleep. He literally misses me, isn’t that a miracle ;)
I can leave my place all day, go out, hang out with my friends, come back late and open the door, and seeing him sitting in front of door waiting for me instead of yelling at me and asking me where the hell I was. Tell me when was the last time that some one waited for you so patiently with a heart full of passion.
On the top of everything he is one of the most gorgeous creatures I've seen(Especially after taking a shower ;) , if you don’t believe me , be the judge yourself.

پرم از سايه برگي در آب

2006-07-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

ابري نيست
بادي نيست
مي نشينم لب حوض
گردش ماهي ها، روشني، من، گل، آب
پاكي خوشه زيست

مادرم ريحان مي چيند
نان و ريحان و پنير، آسماني بي ابر، اطلسي هايي تر
رستگاري نزديك : لاي گل هاي حياط
! نور در كاسه مس، چه نوازش ها مي ريزد
نردبان از سر ديوار بلند، صبح را روي زمين مي آرد
پشت لبخندي پنهان هر چيز
روزني دارد ديوار زمان، كه از آن، چهره من پيداست
چيزهايي هست، كه نمي دانم
مي دانم، سبزه اي را بكنم خواهم مرد
مي روم بالا تااوج، من پر از بال و پرم
راه مي بينم در ظلمت، من پر از فانوسم
من پر از نورم و شن
و پر از دارو درخت

پرم از راه، ازپل، از رود، از موج
پرم از سايه برگي در آب
چه درونم تنهاست

Sing along with the elevator music

2006-07-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

I was reading and suddenly I craved chocolate, and by chocolate I don’t mean kit kat, I’m no more fan of kitkats. To me, they are chocolates of torture and final exams . I wanted rich dark chocolate and as long as I live with citrus girl, I don’t have to worry about finding some Yummy dark stuff, so I headed to the kitchen and took one of her chocolates. She puts them in the fridge and they become cold and Yummy ;).I crawled back into my bed, opened the wrap, read my message on the aluminum wrap,This is the reason that I steal them at the first place;)

What kind of message is that? It made me think about Elevator music. Well, I’ve never heard music in our elevator. How sad is that…. Saddened, I put the chocolate in my mouth and in no time, sweetness of the chocolate replaced my elevator drama and I smiled. I similed cause I suddenly felt like a thief and that reminded me of our promise: we promised that one day we will steal something and as long as I remember, Safeway was our first target.
My smile didn’t last though as I thought Papar might not co-operate with me anymore. Well, she is almost a Dr. and Yes, the last thing a Doctor will do is stealing! Am I right, or I am just biased toward doctors? I think I need to change my attitude toward doctors and Citrus girl’s chocolates, so as of today, I will not steal any chocolates and think of a plan for my robbery with Doctore ;)

Definitely not me ;)

2006-07-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

It’s 9:45, OoopS I don’t have them with me and OoopS it’s the forth night that I’m heading out with taking them with me, so like previous nights, I left my coffee and my Organic blueberry bar and ran to get them. 10:10p.m and I am home, finally!!! I went straight to the kitchen and took one of them with glass of iced water. These days, I feel like I am living in a Cinderella story with the exception of taking antibiotics instead of dancing with a charming prince and having my curfew at 10 instead of 12. Well, I always wanted to be in a Cinderella story, but not the new version. I am an old timer and I prefer the oldies, and unfortunately no one cares about oldies anymore. Anyways since I couldn’t let go of my organic blue berry bar, I ran back to coffee shop and in the way back I saw him, it couldn’t be him, could it? I took a closer look, and I have to tell you 2 might be wrong, but not 4. It was him, and he looked as breathtaking as always. I didn’t have my camera with me, but Mysterious Me and I managed to get it. When we got back, I got really disappointed seeing his empty seat, but that would make sense since James Bond never stays in one place for a long time… Well, I didn’t manage to take a pic with pierce Bronson, but I took a pic with Hugo .Who would prefer a tall, dark, handsome gentleman over a cute HAIRY little boy? Definitely not me…;)

June,20,2003

2006-07-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

I was reading, chapter 9, circulatory system, same old craps about valves, veins, arteries, RBC, Heart....and suddenly I saw a note on the border of the page , it was written by me and dated June,20,2003...I stopped at the point and noticed that I am still at the same point that I was 3 years ago, oh, actually I am not at the same point , I am almost 1 month behind of that point( that's even better!!!!!!) ..That's sad , and by sad, I mean the kind of sadness that crushes your heart into billion pieces and fuck your mind in an irreversible manner. I wish I could do something about it, now can't think of doing anything other than writing my note from June,2003 :

من نمی گویم سمندرباش یا پروانه باش
چون به فکر سوختن افتاده ای مردانه باش
It's seems after 3 year I am still far away from "سوختن"

I HATE to Hate

2006-07-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

I saw them again and I could see hatred in their eyes. If I was not sure of myself, I would think that I have done something horrible to them in my other life.
Sometimes, I ask myself why? Why would they hate me when they got nothing from me,but respect.
I hated to hate them and tried not to, but the harder I tried , the harder they tried , and at one point I surrendered !I said to myself if they want it , fine by me, they can have it!!
Hatred is infectious !!!!!
Now I HATE them , and I mean it, I hate them from bottom of my heart and their mission is accomplished. Funny life and its pathetic losers!!!!!

ppl hate you for no reason and make you to hate them for no reason.
Well, if you think about it a bit more, you see that they hate you because of you being you, and at the same time they make to hate them because of them, being them!
Sooooo, here I am having the choice of reflecting hatred or absorbing it, and I go with the former option,. Sound fair? I bet, but not to me cuz,
I hate the word “HATE” ,
I hate to say it , I hate to feel it,
I hate to be forced to “HATE”,
and most importantly I hate to waste a space on Missing Piece to write about “HATE”.

A fRIeNdLY conversation

2006-07-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I am asking her what should I write and she is saying: I don't know , or maybe we should write that we thought about a lot of stuff today!Mission was accomplished...she is laughing her head off.
Now, She is having Lays chips( the original flavor, well an original person should always go for original) and saying she wanna marry A and laughing. I am laughing too...this is the best time of my week so far...
I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee her simle, anyone could fall in love with that simle.Now she is looking at me with a question mark in her face....and she is saying "I don't know" again...oh oh she( the other she) knows and I know that She doesn't not co-operate with us. I say she can't and she doesn't believe me....she said " I don't know " again.. what is it with this phrase and you today , ha?
Thanks God I got an ok...
She wants to know where did it all start? what do u say? from a gossip , or that simle of her...I think she should mention it somewhere, somewhere that ppl sneak in and study her. I told her, they study you , and she doesn't believe that...She never believes me. I think a lot of ppl believe her and she doesn't know that..she just have to see the proof..and I told her, you can't have proof for everything....I think she needs time.. time is the best solution for everything..I asked her what does she think and WALLAAAAA , she nodded and said "NICE"....I got my answer for today, but she still have lots of question marks in her head. Now where do you stand , did you get anything from this piece? I bet not, so our mission was accomplished as always......hmmmmmmmmmmm ,now she is bragging about having AAAAAAAAA....I always wonder what is about AAAAA ;).....ok we are off to continue....stay tunned, and who knows you might figure out our little secret...

Nothing But NONSENSE!!!!!

2006-07-11T00:26:00.000-07:00

Just a little announcement before I go on: Zinedine Zidan is the hot guy of the month. Yes, he is bald , and Yes, I think bald guys are way too handsome! And no, I am not drunk. It’s just me in July!

Hot guy of the month

It’s too late for me to write anything, but then I, personally, am sick of my boring web log. I need to update it. My head is full of stories and life lessons, and it’s the life itself that doesn’t let me to put it into words.
These days, my days are hectic, my life is upside down, or maybe for the first time my life is where it should have been ages ago.
It’s in order.
Well S is everybody's favorite, but too much of it might decrease your G and that means your efficient energy is decreasing …S is dcreasing these days. I am just not used to un pocito of S ; it’s boring and it’s just not me, at least it’s not me + summer.
If it was winter, I would try to fit in, but summer, low entropy, and me??!?!?…No No and Nooooooo, thank you, No….
UNFORTUNATLEY for now I have to say Yes, cause No is not my answer!! So S is for sure decreasing , at least for the next month or so!

Anyways, I just wanted to write something and update this site, someone’s birthday is cursing The Missing Piece (It is my great privilege ofcourse ;) …
I wish I wasn’t exhausted and sleepy, so I could go on and make a difference here, but I know if I don’t write even this non-sense piece of crap, I wouldn’t be able to write anything else in July!!!
July, July, July, What a month!!!!!So far for me it was nothing but anxiety.… I want July to pass me by as fast as possible…I am sick of it and still have to suck it up for 20 more days…. I’m just exhausted, mentally and physically!! Next time I should find a proper word for this phrase “exhausted, mentally and physically”. May be F***ed!?! but then F***ed is old-fashioned, plus I can't Hold Shift and 8 three times whenever I write it down; too much work for a fucking word . I need a HOT NEW VOCAB. What could that word be? Any one?

For a Wonderful Person

2006-06-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

.....don't have that much to say since our footbal team lost the 2nd match, but, hey today is someone's birthday , so HaPpY BiRThDaY ;) ..All The best Henkaloos are yet to come !

This is not a POEM!!!

2006-06-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

Just a note from last night.....

Tonight is the night
I wanna scream, but I can’t break the silence.
Ppl are sleeping and I can’t just scream,
Now that I look back I never screamed!
Didn’t wanna wake anybody up,

Something is burning inside me,
I wish I knew what it is,
I think I will never know,
And this would be my only secret,
A strange secret,
But I feel it,
I am looking for something,
I do!

My head is too heavy,
That’s why I am looking down,
My eyes are closed,
So I can only see black,
I hate black,
Now sky is black with no stars,
Breathing is hard this late,
Or maybe I am too lazy for breathing

I could be hopeless because of nothing
Nothing could be anything
And I simply don’t give a fuck about both,
Cause I care about some things
Something like ….You name it

I don’t wanna write a poem,
I just wanna yell,
It’s a strange feeling,
I wish I could put it into words
That way I would feel lighter
Why I can’t scream now,
Why? So many Ys.
I hate Ys
And if I do, would my heart get colder?
Would that fix my messed up mind?

I am tired,
I waited too much
Can’t do it anymore
I need a way
A way that ends somewhere other than my mind
Somewhere crispy

And this is not a poem
This is me at 12:32 a.m while I am tired of life and can’t sleep ,
While I hope to start tomorrow and laugh at this, so remember this is not a poem
This is me acting strangely at a dark night!
Or maybe this me + Amoxicillin ;)
Waite a minute,
OoopS! I had to take my pills 1 hour and 40 minutes ago…..I am gone!
But before leaving, hear me out:
I ‘ll be me again tomorrow cause I believe tomorrow is a sweet day.
And I shine when the day is sweet ;)

When you make individual errors you pay dearly for them

2006-06-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

I woke up early in the morning, wore my football shoes;) While I wish that I had an Iranian jersey to wear.(buying a jersey is in the future plans for sure) I was running late, so I told ppl to go ahead and I joined them after I was done with tying the laces of my football shoes ! Anyways, I got to the bar and saw 4 Persians being surrounded with 40 Mexicans and that was the moment that I wished to have stick with me!With a ratio of 1 to 10 everyone would wish to have a gun, let alone the stick!!
An expert in football told me if Iranians play it well for the first 20 minutes, then we might have a high chance of winning. I was holding my breath for the first 20 minutes . Honestly I was so tense that I thought I should leave the bar and come back after 20 minutes, but then I don’t know what was it that made me to stay there and watch the game. I think it was about 30 minutes or so that Mexico scored a goal and I was like FUCK!!
All Mexicans were dancing and I was like “count the chicken after they hatch”. After all, I was damn right since their happiness did not last long, yeh, Iran scored a goal shortly after thier goal, and that was our moment to shine; all Mexican were quite and we were screaming I R A N, I R A N ….. Nothing is more powerful than a goal…That was the moment that I did not care about the ratio of 1 to 10...that was the Golden moment!
The first-half ended while no team was ahead and during the break we became friends with Mexicans and they were like yeh Iranians are good, I could feel them being worried and I was so hopeful that we would come out of this game proudly. I didn’t expect us to win; a draw would do it for me.
The second-half started and you could notice that Iranians were trying so hard to keep the record that they made. You could see too much defense and too much low self-confidence!
Everything was going alright until the last 20 minutes that our lovely goalkeeper made the most stupid mistake and Mexicans scored the second goal and I was like FUCKK. It didn’t take long that they scored the third one..FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. That did it for us and I knew that we couldn’t come out of this mess. I wanted to leave the bar, but then I thought maybe they do something during the last 10 minutes and as always I was wrong. No, miracles don’t happen and even if they do, they don’t happen to us!!!!!!

Anyways, I left the bar, took my pills, and ended up in my bed (since I was sick from the day before). I woke up 2 hours later and still couldn’t believe it,. I can’t believe how a mistake that an individual makes can ruin the game for all as Branko Ivankovic put it beautifully in simple words: “When you make individual errors you pay dearly for them”
I felt so bad for those guys, they tired so hard, sweat too much , and built their way up despite the obstacles !
They simply deserve more!
I think Iranians all around the world ,
those who watched it in the comfort of their homes,
those who watched it in a Perisan bar in the middle of a foreign land,
those who stood for more than 90 minutes to watch it in a store at the heart Tehran,
and those who went all the way down to Germany to cheer for their team,
they all deserve their victory!!!
…and finally I think TMP,
who woke up early ,
sat in a Mexican crowd( without a stick),
screamed at the top of her lungs while she was boiling from fever,
drank coffee that makes her sick,
deserves their victory!!

I’m just pissed now !!!!
…and will be till the next match…they better do better and kick some butts, so I can feel better after all!

I wonder what was it...

2006-06-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well, today was suppose to be a complete perfect study day, and it was going according to my plan before I checked my email and found out that my enthusiastic readers are waiting for my update ;)..
Today’s mood wasn’t the best of all . I woke up while I was in the middle of the nightmare of Da vinci code and of course I was the one who had to find the code. Who knows maybe if I slept a little bit more, I would have had the Royal blood of Jesus. Bad timing!!!!!! I always do that.I don’t know how many more nights I have to be a part of Da vinci adventure .Now that I think about it, these days if you even see a movie , you have to pay the price for it. funny life !!!
Anyways, I woke up while my heart was literally jumping out of my chest ,went to washroom and suddenly it hit me, yes I looked different! I no longer had long hair. I looked 18 and believe me that moment was the only time that I didn’t wanna look 18.
OoopS! I did it again, I cut my hair and got ride of the long hair. It seems I am crazy and whenever I start to look a bit like fine lady, I get ride of the image and become that hippy/unattractive girl.That’s me , the self-destructing type,or it could be simply the season that brings out the worst in me.
Anyways,I tried to leave the washroom before my heart stop beating for real!!
Rest of the morning, I wasn’t in a good mood, till I clicked on internet explorer and as always BBC ‘s page opened and walaaaa..I saw: "World Cup 2006 –first day", and I wasn’t sad no more. It surprised me, cause I used to like football and yeh, my dad and I used to watch football games religiously, but I am not a die-heart fan any more! I mean, I still like footbal, but I don't have enough of passion for it to take my breath away.
I don’t know why I was happy, maybe it was the sport event, maybe it was the memories that I had from the last world cup, or maybe it was my Iranian blood which reacts instantly to the word “Football” . What ever is was , it made my day !

SHE WANNA MARRY A ;)

2006-06-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

Last night, at 11:25 p.m in a rainy cruel night, my friend came into this conclusion: “ I wanna marry A” and she asked me to post the breaking news in my weblog which of course will be one of the top weblogs of all time(now I sound like Bridget Jones, when she was saying one of our top ppl.. haha ) Anyways, as I promised I posted the breaking news here: SHE WANNA MARRY A. This is what exactly she wrote in a piece of napkin but she wrote it in Farsi and unfortunately I don’t have Farsi font. My Apologies!!! I bet right now that I am writing this , she is looking for a Vera Wang wedding dress, and I am wondering if I be the maid of honor or the Angle?!?

A very strange moment

2006-06-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

Walking against the car traffic in a one way street, I was listening to whatever songs that my I pod was shuffling for me. I wasn’t just listening, I was thinking as well!!!!
I was thinking about double-faced people. Well to be more precise, I wasn’t thinking about any ppl , I was thinking about double-faced friends,
those who say something in front of you and believe something totally different in their hearts,
those who make you believe that they are one of the few genuine and trust worthy ppl that you have ever met and you are fool enough to fall for their act for a while,
those who think you are a fool and you’ll never get to see their true color,
those who are too much scared of real life that they just prefer to live a fake one, a life that satisfy them for while,and and finally those who don’t believe in karma !
Thinking about them made me so sad that I felt a sharp pain in my chest. For a minute, I felt that my chest was not big enough to hold my heart, or maybe my heart was too big for my chest. I felt that my heart was going to burst out of my chest, and seriously I was short in breath.
I unzipped my jacket and remembered Sohrab’s poem : ..kashki in mardoom danehaye deleshan peyda bood…at the same time I noticed that I was listening to Nargese Shiraz and Hayedeh was singing : boro ke bi haghighati to ghalbe man jat nist, onghad az to door shodam ke digeh peydat nist , to rafighe narafigh che bad shodi ey vay ,khooneh atish zadano balad shodi ey vay… I haven’t listen to that song for ages, and it’s for sure one of my least favorites in Hayedeh’s collection, but hey my I pod chose this song at that moment! A very confusing and weird moment, a moment that I was in harmony with my poetry, and my music!

Me And You made my MAY

2006-05-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

May 01- A Precious little brat turned 27. ( yeh, you read it right , Little and 27)Seven is a lucky number, let’s hope she grows up and nags a bit less this year.

May 03- Sexy knee length shorts were discovered and purchased by “TMP” and the gang.

May 04- Someone turned down a strange and funny offer. TMP picked up the Glass.

May 05- TMP’s favorite flew to Van.

May 06- My Valuable Cd Collection (including the Crazy album that was a gift from Dr. Papar ) was lost. A little birdy got drunk. A sexy saghi forsure knows how to make Vodka Cranberry.

May 07- After reading my “hot chocolate” cup, I was told that I will be very successful in future

May 08- Van was ½ empty.

May 10- Van was completely empty,Papar became Papaya again and TMP became blue again!

May 11- I went commando.

May 12- to May 17 – A commando's life got her thinking!@#$%^&*

May 18- Happy Birthday to …Happy Birthday to …. Yummy Dinner ;)

May 21- TMP’s Visa was maxed out!! No more shopping till she gets rich and successful.

May 22- The jury came up with TMP sentence: “ Once and for all put the glass down”

May 23- The glass was down for real!!! Finally;)

May 25- A weird night, The glass was down.TMP was down, but proud.

May 26- Minor depression was cured by watching “Pride and Prejudice” . The new version is much recommended. Base on TMP studies Pride and Prejudice has been an effective way of decreasing the depression level in females.

May 29- A dear Friend had entered the scary world of Grads. Congratulation Grad 2006 ;)..hats off to you !

May 30- A shocking email was received early in the morning. Sun is shinning after a long time. TMP is happy and green.

May 31- I try to cherish the last day of my month and be green, I think I scored high. Overal an A month.
June 01- To be continued…

در دل من چيزي است، مثل يك بيشه نور، مثل خواب دم صبح

2006-05-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

دشت‌هايي چه فراخ
كوه‌هايي چه بلند
در گلستانه چه بوي علفي مي‌آمد
من در اين آبادي، پي چيزي مي‌گشتم
پي خوابي شايد
پي نوري، ريگي، لبخندي

پشت تبريزي‌ها
غفلت پاكي بود، كه صدايم مي‌زد

پاي ني‌زاري ماندم، باد مي‌آمد، گوش دادم
چه كسي با من، حرف مي‌زند؟
سوسماري لغزيد.
راه افتادم
يونجه‌زاري سر راه
بعد جاليز خيار، بوته‌هاي گل رنگ
و فراموشي خاك

لب آبي
گيوه‌ها را كندم، و نشستم، پاها در آب

من چه سبزم امروز
و چه اندازه تنم هوشيار است
نكند اندوهي، سر رسد از پس كوه
چه كسي پشت درختان است؟
هيچ، مي‌چرخد گاوي در كرد
ظهر تابستان است

سايه‌ها مي‌دانند، كه چه تابستاني است
سايه‌هايي بي‌لك
گوشه‌يي روشن و پاك

كودكان احساس! جاي بازي اين‌جاست
زندگي خالي نيست
مهرباني هست، سيب هست، ايمان هست
آري
تا شقايق هست، زندگي بايد كرد

در دل من چيزي است، مثل يك بيشه نور، مثل خواب دم صبح
و چنان بي‌تابم، كه دلم مي‌خواهد
بدوم تا ته دشت، بروم تا سر كوه
دورها آوايي است، كه مرا مي‌خواند

Horoscopes are not always BSs!!

2006-05-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's horoscope, just what I needed:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, true -- but has this person been absent so long that you've forgotten why they were in your life in the first place? If the answer is yes, then it's time to move on.

Or as someone recently commanded me "Put the glass down"....There you go I am putting it down! Happy now?

Actually it's less work for me now, as my hand was getting numb!

This should be ongoing.....................

2006-05-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

This poem was nominated poem of 2005. Written by an African kid, amazing thought:

"When I born, I Black, When I grow up, I Black,When I go in Sun, I Black, When I scared, I Black,When I sick, I Black, And when I die, I still black... And you White fellow, When you born, you pink, When you grow up, you White, When you go in Sun, you Red,When you cold, you blue, When you scared, you yellow,When you sick, you Green, And when you die, you Gray...
And you call me colored???......... "

Such a sweet poem and such a talented Kid! These days I just can’t write anything, I am like a Singer who has lost her voice, and really wanna sing, but can’t!
I usually don’t like to post anything from anyone else and love to do the work myself, no copying and no pasting, noch, noch !!
Copying and me don’t go well together, I love originality!!! Throughout my life, I tried to stay away from copying; Well, with the exception of copying all BIOL 434 assignments( A special thanks to Papar and E) and few more, but then the result wasn’t pleasing as I withdrew from the course and the copying didn’t get me anywhere!
Anyways, getting back to my problem, I feel like I can’t start from anything or anywhere and I hate it when this site is not alive!!!!I love ongoing things ;)
After reading this poem, I thought I just post this and see how I can be carried away!
Sometime you are lost and don’t know where to start, u just have to follow someone or something and the rest will come to you eventually.
U think I am bsing , then take a good look around you, how many talented ppl do you know who are just stuck and do not know where to start and the minute they find their ways , they make a change ! So all you need is a point to start from. That point could be anything, it even can be a poem from a black kid in Africa! Yeh, even a kid a can make a difference in a way that no one can!
I believe any one can make a difference, but unfortunately most of the time ppl are not aware of their impact on the others!
So, next time that you are writing a poem be aware cause ur masterpiece might be the initiation point for a very talented Blogger!

Special thanks to nam name Baroon for the poem!

Polishing Might Not Be A Good Idea!

2006-05-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

Today the sky is blue. Sun ,”my ultimate love” , is shinning . I am blue as well, but my sun is not shinning. My sun is hidden behind clouds and hey since I am patient I'll say "well, let’s waite till my sun comes out" , but at this point I have no idea how much more I can waite.
I used to forget the sun and live in my "blue life", but then some sort of gene got turned on in me(Maybe the Green Tea Frap is a carcinogen and that did it for my gene mutation) and I started seeking my sun again, I started polishing the memories that once I cherished. I do not know why I didn’t leave them dirty, why did I get ride of the dust!!?!?Maybe it was the ethanol that made me do it .I do amaze myself sometimes!

Anyways, no more polishing as Sohrab says "poshte sar rooye hame fer fereha khak neshasteh ast", and as long as I remember he never insisted on polishing !

Take Home Message: Polishing is good, polish everything(not with ethanol), but never ever polish you memories cause if you do, then you are scratching your heart and this is not the way you should treat the main pump of your circulatory system. Remember, you need your heart for nurturing your brain and you need your brain to store more memories , hopefully some dust-resistance ones this time! I am going commando for a while, that’s the plan! May is my month and I can do anything I want!!!!Commando it is!

......

2006-05-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.

"My Fairly lady movie"

The way I went WILD.

2006-04-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Vancouver,
Sun is shinning,
I love sun,
Sun is energy,
Sun is love,
Sun is flip-flops,
Bikinis,
Green tea frappuccino,
and camera,

They woke up early,
Wore their running shoes,
I was still asleep,

They got together,
I was still asleep,

There were loud,
And I gave up my bed,

Weather was heavenly,
I remembered Papar,
She used to wear her running shoes,
And make noises with the crowd,
But now she wasn’t here,
I missed her,

I missed her,
And decided to wear my shoes,
Not running shoes,
The flowery ones,
My favorite ones,
They make me feel better,

In my orange shirt,
I looked fresh.
Got my Camera,
Left my place.

And that was how,
In a sunny spring day,
The sun runners, ran
And I got wild in my favorite shoes ;)

It Wasn't In Me To Give :(

2006-04-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

Finally after almost 2 years, today I got myself together, and decided to donate blood, but then if something doesn’t mean to happen, you can’t force it !
I went to the donation center with the idea of saving someone else’s life with my precious “Red Blood Cells” while I, myself, need some blood to continue breathing!! I couldn’t donate blood cuz my RBC counts was bellow average! Funny ha?! To me it’s hilarious and sort of sad cause this time I really wanted to do it and I couldn’t. I hate disappointment, but then as a human you learn to live with disappointment.
The nurse in the hospital was worried about me and she was like you should see your family doctor and bla bla bla... She believed that I’m under stress and that's why my RBC counts is low. I was like what are you taking about, I’m too much stress free these days and this feeling sometimes freaks me out! I was going to tell her that I got this new disease and it's called stress-free disease.
I’m just disappointed now, I really wanted to donate blood, but when it’s not in me, how can I give to someone else!
I just noticed that I didn’t take off the sticker that they put on my lovely orange T-shirt while they still believed I was an excellent donor ;) It’s says “1st time donor”! I don’t wanna get rid of it . Maybe I am faking it now, but I will be a “Real” first time donor in 56 days, 112 days, or sometimes soon; I promise! It just takes some time and determination, and to me a promise is a promise.

Looking for Henkaloo and finding myself, interesting!!!

2006-04-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy to write too much details now, just know this much: It was a Sunny Saturday in Vancouver, and that day Robson street called everyone including “ The missing piece” for shopping. This means I went to all stores one by one and surprisingly enough at Artizia I found it!
I found Persepolis!!!
So interesting how u seek something and u end up with the other henkaloo*!!!
I was giving my friends some clues about my bd gift( I know that's rude and cheap, but then u are not dealing with the queen of dignity, u are dealing with me) and I ended up with Persepolis!!
Ok if u want to kill couple of hours and enjoy it, go ahead and buy Persepolis instead of a pair of useless flashy jeans or etc, etc!
Make sure to get both volumes!! The story of the return is even more interesting!!
Marjan Satrapi** portrayed her life in simple words and sketches. I love and adoreeeeeee her simplicity!! Somehow, I think that our characters overlap so much with the exception of her being this famous writer and me being this Famous Blogger ;)
Anyways, Read it and see how stupid, spoiled, and shallow u are and try to be a better person; maybe someone that u used to be and u lost it for a while or maybe a “new you”, someone that u love to become from now on!!
keep reading and I bet you feel that u need to get real and stop nagging for the little stupid things that happen to you!
Start reading and maybe at the end, u 'll think of writing a biography of your own…mmm…. that’s something that I love to do ,but to love something doesn't mean doing it!!!!!!
Let's face it, it will be very interesting if I ever do it ! I have so many untold stories, so many of them and they could buy me a fortune one day!! Who knows, no one, or maybe you and me know a little more than the rest ! Did I make any sense? I bet not, and even if I didn’t, I don’t give a damn! Do u?
Just read the books and you get me more...keep on reading and see if you fall in love with Persepolis the way I did!!!

*According to the missing piece dictionary: Noun; The common word that is used instead of thing in farsi.
** Simple, yet sophisticated.

..And Finally Superstar of the Show ;)

2006-04-06T14:09:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, I am totally aware of what I am doing; I am showing off!
As I mentioned before sometimes showing off might take you places that you could never imagine; besides, I tried to show off just a bit, otherwise I would post all xillion pictures that I took yesterday ;P
I start to believe that this rainy city is the heaven on the earth and I simply can't leave this city!!

Sexy...

2006-04-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

Sophisticated Moonlight ......

2006-04-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

Classy...

2006-04-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

Cute...

2006-04-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

Lets show off the...

2006-03-31T15:30:00.000-08:00

This is how Vancouver shows off with “Spring”. Well, I personally don’t believe in showing off , but then if u ever decide to do something wrong, do it right!
Do it the way Vancouver does it ; “Classy” and “Perfect”. Think of this way; a "Perfect show off" could impress ppl around you! Aren’t you impressed with Vancouver yet?

Have some mercy plz.

2006-03-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

I was in the line to get a tea and there was this tall, slim, good looking girl in front of me .She ordered a drink with a pastry and wanted to pay it with her debit card. Her card was declined, so she said with this thick accent: "ok, I 'll just have the drink then" and tried to pay only for the drink (1.66 $) with her debit again. It declined again, and the server was furious, the ppl behind her were on fire since there was just one serve and a huge line up. I was just watching her and honestly to this day, I couldn’t believe that someone might not have $ 1.66 . Well, at least from now on, I know if I am not going through something that doesn’t say anything about its existence; a mistake that a lot of ppl make.
Finally, she left while everybody were giving her dirty looks as if she was a serial killer or something like it.
Anyways, she left the store while she was about to break into tears and I really felt the pain that she was going through; the humiliation was too much , let alone dirty looks .
I tried to see ppl behind me and to me they all seemed to be in their late 30s or 40s ( mature ppl , u know, not teen ages!!!) and I was like fuck you ppl, so u waited in line 5 more minutes, what is the big deal?!?!Be more understanding, that girl could be you since life has its own surprises!
It’s really sad to see how impatient, careless, cruel, and stupid ppl become day after day. There are few ppl who still kept their virtues and morality and if we could clone those ppl, then we would have live in a better place where ppl wouldn’t mind to waite 5 more minutes. By the way the saddest part of the story is still is to come , the girl in the line was wearing a Farbehar and yes, she was Persian !

Love's Divine

2006-03-22T18:16:00.000-08:00

Then the rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief you see
And realize my mistake
But time through a prayer to me
And all around me became still

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had found all of my reality
I realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I don't bet , don't pray,
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrong
But inside I felt me lying all alone
But the message here was plain to see
Believe in me…

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet, don't break,
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

Love can help me know my name.

Think "Color" this year ;)

2006-03-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

Lets hope for a colorful year !
Happy Norouz ;)

Just Fuck it cause it's the same ALWAYS

2006-03-19T22:45:00.000-08:00

Same looks, same attitudes, same gestures, same greetings, same “Hi”, same “Bye”, same plays, same everything, same, same, same,…well, actually it’s the same fucked up puzzle!!!
Everything is the same except we are older now, but then our older versions still love to play “hide and seek”!
It was the same years ago, is the same now and will be the same tomorrow and the day after and….
History for sure repeats itself and I hate that, I simply hate that. How can I stop it? I have no idea, I don’t know how to make it different next time, cause I am sick of running in a circle every now and then. I know for sure next time I’ll end up with too many “same”s , and I am not sure if I can take it again, but then do I have any other choice?!
Every body says something different to me and add another puzzle to my original one, I don’t think if I ever solve this puzzle, and I should just be happy with same, same and same, and let go of solving the puzzle. This puzzle made me question myself for Nth times, but I never answered those questions either, too many questions and I simply don’t bother to do anything about them…too much to take, so I might as well think of it as an "impossible puzzle" and fuck it !!The only thing that makes me happy is that I am not alone in this….

I just wrote this piece for “the one” who asked for it. Peace ;)

I let you in on a little secret ;)

2006-03-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves no others . They are open to guestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe!

Never Quit cause...

2006-03-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

Today I was stuck in a Medical clinic for about 2 hours. Well, I can’t complain when you are a walking in-patient; you have no right to talk, let alone complaining. It really sucks when you get stuck in a place where you can’t complain. A lot of ppl might not care about waiting and not being able to speak out, but not me! I was going to tell the Dr, “oh yeh, on the top of N symptoms that brought me here, I have been experiencing backache since I was sitting still on your amazingly comfortable antic wooden chairs for about 2 hours!” but then I decided to shut my mouth and get the whole thing over with.
While waiting in the clinic, I was going through the magazines and I came across this interview with Lance in O magazine. In the interview, Opera mentioned that ppl used to think of Lance as this cocky individual who wouldn’t give a damn to media. I was so surprised to learn that about Lance cause in my opinion everyone could be cocky, but not my Hero,Lance!!
Defending himself, he was saying that it wasn’t all about him being cocky, and part of it was his shyness and then he mentioned how aging and life events changed him for good.
I personaly, believe "Time is the solution to everything”. Time for sure can convert an arrogant individual to a humble sweet heart if we just be patient ;)
Anyways, in another part when he was talking about how he battled cancer, he said “Pain is temporary, but quitting is forever”. This simple sentence of him got me so bad that I am here right now and writing another piece of crap, but then I believe any piece of crap has its own gifts.
Bottom line, never forget, if you quit that’s the end and you are doomed; just hang in there cause pain is temporary and "time" is for sure your friend most of the time ;)

Follow Your Madness

2006-03-12T16:50:00.000-08:00

I have got a new disease these days, I just wanna read everything that is written everywhere, and this sort of reminds me of the first summer that I learned reading (Ages ago when I was young, wise, and restless!) I still remember that I used to read anything that was written anywhere and my mom and my sis would get so excited!
Anyways after 2 decades my old habit came back to hunt me, but this time no one gets excited while I am reading stuff, besides, sometimes I annoy ppl around me by reading craps! What can a 2 and a 0 do to your life is unbelievable!
Today before heading to the library I got a cup of tea, and as always I started reading on the cup. For the first time I saw something familiar on my cup.I never thought I would be seeing lyrics of one of my favorite songs on a Starbucks cup...Do you have any idea how exciting could that be?!
I love the idea of writing a collection of thoughts, opinions and expressions on this boring cups. Every time that I get a drink , the first thing that I do is reading my cup. I have to admit reading my cup is more exciting than the drink itself. Come to think of it , this is the modern version of reading coffee cups which is way cheaper, and of course you get to learn something other than listening to some craps that a fortune teller mumbles to you.
I haven’t met any one who get so much excited about reading their cups and the reality is that almost all ppl don’t give a F*** about what is written on their cups, but I still think this is a very interesting way of sharing a piece of information with a crowd. I feel so awkward now , I think I am the only pathetic person who pays so much attention to a cup, but then who cares as long as I am happy, I follow my madness...
Here is my reading of the day ;)

Let go your sorrow.
Let go your blues.
Coz I know tomorrow
is yesterday’s news.
Let go your sadness,
give up the fight,
follow your madness
and take flight ... take flight.

Seal

Surprise!!!!! W I N T E R is Back!

2006-03-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

Life is for sure full of surprises! Two days ago while we were walking in the street, I was telling a friend about the beauty of the blossom trees, and how more beautiful they would become in the next 2 or 3 weeks when they’ll be full of flowers! At the time, weather was warm and sunny and I really thought that winter was “history”!
Well, right now it’s snowing like crazy and winter is back; I can’t stand the idea of loosing all those beautiful white and pink blossoms! It's really surprising to me; first we had the early spring and then it didn’t take so long for winter to come back.
This makes you wonder why spring came early at the first place and at the same time it makes you feel insecure about its permanent stay in the near future!

Not more than 15 minutes!

2006-03-08T00:59:00.000-08:00

Afternoon naps, something that Persians and a lot of Europeans do! Did you ever think why ppl sleep in the afternoon? Well, of course even a kid would know the reason, but why do we get sleepy just around 2:00 –3:00. Don’t we sleep enough at nights?
I personally hate afternoon naps. They start with yawning and no matter how hard you try to resist falling asleep, you simply can’t do it, and finally you end up in your bed thinking that you have made the right decision. You would do anything, absolutely anything in order to get some sleep, and you try to fool yourself by saying “I just sleep for 15 minutes”.
Actually if you only sleep for 15 to 30 minutes to recharge yourself for the rest of the day, that’s just perfect, but then how many ppl have you known who sleep for only 15 to 30 minutes?!?
To be very precise, you end up sleeping for more than an hour and when you wake up, you feel like shit. Yeh I am not joking and shit is nothing, you feel even worst than shit! You feel like you are in a strange place, that you are lost, and suddenly an unpleasant version of your life story premieres in your brain.
Well, believe it or not, this is what is happening. I m not saying everybody feels the same, but I haven’t seen anyone who claimed something else yet, and my assumption are just based on my limited knowledge and of course my precious feelings ;)
Bottom line: No matter how many times you feel like shit and you promise yourself that you never ever sleep in the afternoon again, you still do it sometimes. I slept today for about 1.5 hours and when I woke up, I felt like shit, and yes I did it again!
What is it about afternoon naps, first you are willing to do anything to get some sleep, and then you hate yourself for doing it. More importantly what is about us, why do we keep repeating things that we are already aware of the consequences? Can’t we just control our dizziness till the feeling goes away, and then enjoy the rest of the day without feeling like shit!

A Productive Day At Library!

2006-03-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

I am in the library now, well I have been here since they opened the doors and hey I was so f***ing proud of myself to be here so early.
Lets face it, being here before opening hours doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be studying all day. Since I came here I have done everything from reading magazines( come on, they are very important stuff in ppl, vogue, us, hello, and such magazines;), browsing on the internet, checking every single person who passed me( who all happened to be these amazingly breathtaking Asians) and the list goes on and yet didn’t touch my books. Now I can understand what did my friends mean when they were complaining about doing everything other than studying during exam period. I used to think of the whole concept as something silly and unreal. Today, I am the living example of that and this means: yeh such silly things do happen and despite my believes, I am no exception, and the worst part is that they might happen more than once ...Scary world, u get to experience things that you never ever thought would happen to you. I personally never thought one day I would wanna study and instead wasting time in anyway possible.
Let’s face a fact here; if I don’t get myself together soon enough I can end up being the professional time killer of the century in no time!!
I don’t know why ppl keep saying that life is short. I'm starting to believe that life is long enough for us to experience everything that one day we thought were silly and impossible! I think I said enough already, and I need to get real before I waste my whole day at library!

SoMEtHiNg tO mAkE My DaY aNd yOuR DaY ;)

2006-02-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

S P R I N G is here!!

2006-02-24T22:43:00.000-08:00

This morning, I woke up with a cold body, runny noise and fever. I thought I got sick, but then how could that happen? I felt fine yesterday, so I just guessed that my symptoms were because of morning breeze and they would go away soon. After an hour, nothing has chanced except my tissue usage rate. I used a full tissue box in an hour. mmmm well, let me stop exaggerating ; I didn’t use a full box , but I used a lot forsure.
Finally, I got my self together and left home while I was convinced of having flu or something similar!
I was just walking in the street and suddenly saw blossom trees and that rang the bell for me.
BINGO!! Spring is here. Well, I know it’s a little bit too early for spring arrival, but this beautiful city usually declares end of winter a bit sooner than other cities!
Anyways, after seeing blossoms I knew that I definitely didn’t catch a cold or flu, and all my symptoms were just souvenirs from my favorite season!
Lets face it, for a lot of people who don't give a damn about spring, spring is this beautiful season that brings its fresh scents and beauty, as for me, my favorite season brings nothing other than runny noise, hay fever, itchy eyes, and etc… .Funny ha?!
Let me set the record straight forever, regardless of my nasty spring souvenirs, I still am ready to embrace this amazingly beautiful season with a pack of REACTINE! It’s my favorite what else can I do ;)

Beauty and Brain

2006-02-20T21:17:00.000-08:00

They are cute, smart, and adorable! Beauty and brain, isn’t that enough already?!
I don’t think if I can ever get enough of these simple yet sophisticated creatures! Swimming with dolphins is one of my upscale dreams ;)
I must admit that I failed to take a nice picture, but then, an extraordinary subject will compensate for a lousy photographer!

Watch out for your wishes!

2006-02-18T08:46:00.000-08:00

I had a really bad headache last night, and given that I only take Advil for headaches, I didn’t have any pills at home to take. I was so exhausted, so I just went to bed when I knew that I would wake up in no time with my head pounding!
Anyways as I anticipated, I woke up around 5:30 this morning and since my headache was killing me, I took a Tylenol 3 ;) with a lot of guilt of course! I hate taking medicines that contain high dosage of codeine, but sometimes you just wanna get ride of the pain and you wouldn’t mind taking even poison!
This morning, suddenly I had a flashback from ages ago! I remember when I was around 6 or 7 and ppl would complain about having headaches. I never knew what they were talking about. All I wanted was to experience that particular pain in my head and see how that feels. I had the impression that headaches are age relevant and to associate myself with adults, I would sometimes fake headaches;)
Honestly I always wanted to experience headaches and I thought if I experienced headaches, then I would some how fall into the adult category!
Well if you think wishing for a headache is a sick thought, check this out. I had a friend who cut her eyelashes in order to get glasses, and of course look as CoOL as I did.( Thanks God, I had Glasses, otherwise I don’t know how I would want to cut my lashes!) It’s so funny how far a kid would go to prove that she is old and mature enough!
So moral of the story:
1- Watch out what you are wishing for! They might come true when you would never ever want them to be a part of your life.
2- Raise your standards and try to wish for better things. Feeling that your eyes are about to pop out of your head, and you head is about to explode very soon is a very painful and affordable wish, just dream BIG from now on cause you never know when your dream will hunt you back!

Falling for Yellow

2006-02-08T23:33:00.000-08:00

Yellow, a tricky color! Color of hate in one part of the world, and love in the other part. What a controversy! I never was a fan of Yellow, and never thought I would be one day.
Now, I have a confession to make ;)

In my opinon, Yellow can be sexy by itself,
It can be super sexy if it comes from a gorgeous sweetheart,
It even can touch you and become your favorite if it comes with sincere love.
Finally a combination of above can sweep you off your feet!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, there is indeed a fine line between love and hate! It’s just a matter of your mentality and where you are willing to invest it ! Which side would it be for yellow now...mmmm

Finally, I went to the mattresses.

2006-02-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

Go to the mattresses! Go to the mattresses!
I used to hear it a lot and finally I saw the movie, the story of a little hopeless Italian boy, Don Vito Corleone, who migrated to NY City, and his gift to the city was his Mafia life style, a ruthless life style I would say! His life story was depicted in an epic film, which was well acted, directed, and stunningly photographed.
Before watching the movie, I never thought that I would love it so much, I just watched it out of curiosity! After almost a week that I was done with the third part of the movie, I realized how much I was missing out, and why almost all of the creatures who have a Y x-some are so crazy about this movie.
God Father movies I, II, III were filmed in different time frames (1972,1974,1990) and that really amazed me. You can witness Al Pacino aging from the first part to the third, and that’s sort of cOoL(now I sound like teenages..;)!
My favorite character was Michael Corleone (Al Pacino). I can’t believe how God Father director made his audience to love and adore Michael Corleone , A mafia who even couldn’t forget his brother betrayal and took revenge by killing him! Don, Michael and Vincent were actually 3 gangsters who were portrayed as heroes, the heroes who were all family men as well. Tell me how many directors can do such a marvelous job?!
Forgetting the death and murders that took place for money, pride, jobs, and in a nutshell the main purpose of the movie, in part III Michael donated 100 million dollars to the charity; he also bribed NY church with 600 million dollars , that’s a total of 700 million dollars in 1979.
700 million dollars is even a lot of money now, let alone 27 years ago. Needless to say, that amount of money was just a tiny part of Michael Corleone’s fortune, and that’s exactly why at the end of the moive I told my bother “It’s such a pity that I don’t live in NY ” and he asked for the reason and I told him how naïve he was, cuz if I lived in NY, then I would definitely come across Michael’s grandchildren at some point of my precious life time and that means “more than life”…;) After hearing this, my brother was laughing his head off and I would lie if I say I wasn’t laughing at myself! Honestly, I can’t blame myself for my way of thinking at that moment. If a girl see an ultimate guy movie, the outcome can’t be better than the Ultimate “Gold Digging” attitude. Well, believe it or not, this is as good as it gets!

The show is ZzzZzZZzzz so far...Outstanding!!

2006-01-30T14:38:00.000-08:00

Cute, Lazy, funny, and more importantly my intelligent childhood Buddy ;)

The way I see it # 53

2006-01-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

Be exceptional. Make tremendous efforts to be extraordinary. What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind. Just make sure you do so…

Next time that you are having a cup of coffee at Starbucks try to pay a little more attention to your cup! You will be surprise with the outcome !

Messenger of Borderless music

2006-01-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

It was his picture that caught my eyes and made me listen to his first single “Roma” about 4 months ago. The song lyrics were not Persian, the dance moves weren’t Persian, for God’s sakes his last name wasn’t Persian, but his feature especially his eyes were Persian! Although his name was in the Iranians of the day I still couldn’t believe that he was Persian. I listened to his second hit “Hena”. It started with khaled signing Arabic and then I thought, “there you go, again they mixed Persians and Arabs”.I was confused about his nationality till I heard him saying:” Hena, Hena he, emshabo naro!!” and that did it for me. After all I didn’t make a mistake, and this breathtaking, highly charismatic handsome creature was Persian ;) After listening to his album” Borderless” I always wanted to write something about him and I never did. Well since I love his music style so much that I haven’t listen to anything since ages ago, I thought I should talk about him and get it out of my system.
Cameron Cartio was born April, 9,1978 in Tehran, Iran. He moved to Spain with his parents when he was seven and a year later they went to Malmo, a city in southern Sweden. Right now he is living in Stockholm where he believes is the capital of art and entertainment. He believes Sweden is his home now, but he can’t be more proud of his nationality, as he says: “I am and will always be Iranian. I’m Proud to be Iranian and will always love and cherish my native country”.

The first time that I listened to his breakthrough song “Roma”, I was so confused and I started asking myself “ which language is that? Swedish? Italian? Spanish?German? Creak? Hmmm Persian?!?” Honestly till this moment, I haven’t figured it out .Since Cameron wants to be the messenger of borderless music, what languauge is better than a non-existent and innovated language.Well, Regardless of the language, I believe this amazingly handsome and talented young artist will make it to the top in no time .He chose to hit a different button and I bet this decision of him will pay off soon, as variety is the spice of life!
Lets cross our fingers that Persians like other middle-Easterners, Scandinavians, Greeks, Germans and French appreciate Cameron’s unique style and artistic image. Let’s hope that finally Persian community has found a talented star who can put Persian music on the map!

Real image, I don't think so!

2006-01-25T00:08:00.000-08:00

When even a mirror can’t be truthful and reflect a “REAL” image, leave the rest alone! Don’t be surprise, pack your bags and leave the town. I bet it will be a long journey afterwards!

Ever-changing Taste or Unsatisfied Spirit ?!

2006-01-23T18:55:00.000-08:00

Two years, such a long time. I can’t waite, and I wanna move in now, Right Now….
I still can hear tone of my voice in my head, and remember how excited I was about moving out of my parents’ place. Well, here I am without any enthusiasm or excitement whatsoever!
I’m confused, frustrated, and can’t believe myself. It’s like I am dealing with a stranger and that stranger is no one except “precious me”! SURPRISE, it’s my lost version!
Being lost in your own little life could be the worst pain of all. It frustrates you, pushes the limit for you, and takes you to the end of your life where nothing is waiting for you other than disappointment.
Something definitely happened to me that I’m totally unfamiliar with. Unbelievable!! for the first time in my life, I can’t diagnose my own disease …;)
Human nature is weird and unpredictable. One minute you die to have something, and put too much afford to get it. The next minute when you finally get it, you loose interest, you are tired of it and wanna move on. How pathetic is that?!?! Actually I have to say how routine is that in our daily lives. I always wonder what is the cause of such a behavior, is it our ever-changing taste or unsatisfied spirit?!? Well, either one can be disruptive and dangerous in its own way!

Dance like nobody is watching ;)

2006-01-20T18:57:00.000-08:00

I couldn’t care less about my hair, my make up, my outfit, and overall they way I looked last night. I was so happy and relieved, as I didn’t have to wear high heels; I know they are sexy, but for God’s sakes they are uncomfortable. I can’t walk with them, let alone dancing!! For the first time, I wasn’t self-conscious about eyes that were following me around. I was just wandering around aimlessly and not worrying about who I was going to bump into. I wasn’t living my own life for few hours; I was this person who cared about nothing but enjoying the music all night, and dance with my comfy shoes;) The music was so loud and powerful. I could feel it penetrating in every single cell of my body. What am I saying, it was penetrating my soul. I was getting High without Drug. My drug was one-of-a-kind; it was “Music beats”. I was dancing like crazy, jumping, and screaming at the top of my lungs in the most energetic and carefree crowd that I had ever seen in Van city. No one really cared about my appearance or the way I danced . If someone bumped into me whether it was intentionally or not, they would give me a sweet smile instead of a dirty look. To me, last night was the real definition of heaven; a place that you can dance like no body is watching!( Yes, that place exists, you just have to look for it!) A place where ppl with different viewpoints, genders, backgrounds and races, gathered together in harmony for one and only one reason.They gathered to witness the famous Deep Dish .The Persian superstars I would say! Deep Dish simply rocked the house last night and I think every single Person who likes music should once feel their magic! It’s a must. As I anticipated, Persian population was about 5%, and it’s such a pity that a lot of Persians never get the chance to feel the beat of their own well-known superstars! Well, this is not shocking news to me! It’s so typical of us, Persians, to let other nations appreciate our treasures; in this case Deep Dish!

I saw him!!

2006-01-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

Despite “motionless me”, the dark sky was all shaking, screaming, and crying out loud Last night. I was standing still at the bus stop and randomly checking out passerbys. At the same time, I needed to nag someone about how much I hate to waite for my ride in that cold dark night! The only thing that kept distracting me from my so-called “miserable life” was the song that I was listening too. I love music; it really can disconnect you from the real world and ease your pain temporarily! Sometimes listening to music really works like magic for me, and yesterday was one of those days. Anyways finally, I got on the bus and as always sat on the seats that belong to the disabled elderly people. (I am not suppose to sit there, but I always do it . I can’t help it; it’s just me wanting to swim against the flow). While, I was so into listening, I notice the entrance of an old man who was wearing casual raincoat and blue jeans. I moved one seat toward the rear end of the bus and gave him my seat. Then, I sat there gazing at him and suddenly I knew who he was. I looked at a girl in front of me, and she gave me a sweet smile, confirming my findings ;). Although I wanted to believe my instincts, I was still in dark. Well it didn’t take long before a young fellow moved toward him and started talking to him. That was exactly what I wanted, but my phone rang, Dmn!!!!! I had to answer it . I tried to make the phone call short, so I could listen to them, but unfortunately he left the bus before I was done. I was so curious and excited, so got myself together and asked the fellow if that old man was David Suzuki, and he said Yes! It was so flattering .For the first time, my hypothesis was proven to be right, what could be better than this!! I saw David Suzki, the Japanese-Canadian ubc zoology professor, geneticist, public lecturer, and environmental and civil rights activist who gained international recognition for his research into temperature-sensitive genetic mutations in fruit flies, work that won him, for three years running (1969-71). David Suzuki, who has more than 11 honorary university degrees, and was presented with the 1968 UNESCO Kalinga Prize for science writing, etc, etc…I was so excited. Honestly I never thought I would see a scientist in the bus. I still can’t believe my eyes, If I didn’t know him, I would have say he was a very ordinary man who was just struggling to live. It’s so funny how we just judge ppl from their cover and without any info. Well, getting back to my transportation problem, I still don’t like the idea of waiting for my ride at the bus stop, but I guess everything that we do in our lives has its pros and cons, even taking bus home at a cruel dark rainy night!! You could end up seeing someone that you can never see if you are driving ;)

New Year or Me?

2006-01-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

The waiter just came to refill our teas and he wasn’t just refilling. He was in rush, and he was splashing tea all over the table! He kept forgetting about my friend’s miso soup and honestly when he brought the soup, there was no spoon! After 10 minutes finally, we got a spoon plus waiter’s attitude on the house!! We all decided to not leave any tips for him with that poor service, so we left about total of 12 cents;) If you think this is unacceptable, check this out! We wrote a note and mentioned that next time, if they provided a better service, we will tip them and then we ran away fast! Come on, at least we justified our action and try to give them some hints for making more tips in near future! The next day, we went for brunch; there, we had a far worse waiter; He kept taking away our foods, and he brought the bill without us asking for it! How rude is that?!? Anyways, since our table was at the far end of the restaurant, choice of leaving no tip and running away wasn’t an option at all, so this time we decided to tip him less than 15% and SIT!! Yes we sat there for about 30 minutes after paying our bills. The waiter was so frustrated, but he couldn’t do anything. The way that we are progressing, I think next time we just dine and dash! That could be fun, but we have to make sure to sit in the patio in order to prevent any dishwashing in the restaurant! Now that I think about it, it really amazes me cause I truly believe that no matter what, you should tip your server and there were times that I had far worst servers and I tipped them. I don’t know what came over me. Could it be the New Year, am I losing my virtue and morality, or it’s just an older version of me who doesn’t believe in enforcing the inappropriate behavior anymore!

If I could...

2006-01-02T20:58:00.000-08:00

If I could stop it at this specific moment, it could never go all dark and cruel. Hey what should I say; sometimes it’s out of your hands. Just learn to sleep on it, or stay up all night and you will see the colors again, lighter colors indeed!!!

“No More Regrets of Any Kind for Me”

2006-01-01T18:06:00.001-08:00

Making New Year's Resolutions is an excellent idea; even we usually do violate them before the second week of January! I believe trying and loosing is always more admirable than not doing anything. This year, stop biting off more than you can chew, just think of something small that you can change, it could be anything! Remember, small steps could lead to the bigger ones. I remember one year my New Year's Resolution was to wake up early, so I didn’t have to miss my amazingly interesting 8:00 a.m Biochemistry class! Well as much as it sounds funny and childish, it worked for me and I didn’t miss a class afterwards, and that meant, I had my own notes and I didn’t have to beg my classmates for getting notes. I also felt so good about myself by keeping my New Year’s Resolution! So how about this year?
Since I don’t have any other INTERESTING classes, I have to think of something bigger this year. A dear friend once told me to dream big, and always ask for more, so I am about to think of something bigger. Maybe this year, I want to be the best I can be! This best could cover a whole range, so that could be hard to accomplish in a year! Then I think being the best you can be, is the thought that you must carry with you all the time and it doesn’t need to Waite for a new year. So saying all that, how about this year’s resolution? mmmm….Since I am not a risk taker, I want to take more risks, living on the edge could be fun in its own way. I also want to fight to my last breath for what I want, and that means, fighting for what I want at the right time, or regretting it for the rest of my life. I don’t want to let another magic moment to pass me by, “No More Regrets of Any Kind for Me”. Oh Oh,I forgot to say that chocolate intake has to decrease as well ;) I can go on with this list, but I prefer to bring it rather than sing it!

Sorry, it didn't mean anything! It never does, does it??!

2005-12-29T16:17:00.000-08:00

Arash - Arash the video, is by far the most expensive Persian music video that had ever been recorded. The director of this music video is Fredrik Callinggaard , known from Madonna and Depece Mode. Well after watching it few times, I think this is not just a trashy cliche music video in which he is trying to sell sex! This music video is the messenger of the striking truth that is hidden everywhere. Yes, most of men do love bitches and of course heartless bitches are the winners at the end! How fair is life?!? Not much I guess!
Tell me, which persian singer got 25 supermodels together in one place, that’s something to be considered ;) Anyways, hats off to Arash, no one could do a better job!

Sleepless City!

2005-12-26T16:18:00.000-08:00

Need a Reminder?!?

2005-12-13T01:15:00.000-08:00

In general I am a low-maintenance kid, and I don’t have a demanding personality at all.Most of the time I do appreciate whatever I have in my life. (how lucky my parents are!! I always said that…. I am a miracle that happened to them ;) ) Saying all that, I would fool you if I say there was not a time when I wanted everything to be my way, and nagged recklessly for not having this, or that. Well, like everybody else out there sometimes I think I am the most unfortunate creature on the face of planet!! Inevitable feelings :(
It so funny how easily we view life as routine and ordinary, forget about our comfortable and amazing lives and start wanting more and more. I personally think, every now and then, we all need someone/something to remind us how blessed we are. Today, after a long time, I had my dose of awareness. Yes, a simple phone call and a short conversation with a dear friend made me to think how lucky I am. After I hung up the phone, I was ashamed of myself for not loving and appreciating every single blessing that I have in my life!! Well I am not a saint and I have no intention of preaching, but right now, I could be the reminder that u need to take a look at a your glass and see it as half full.

Writing and I, two words that don't go well together!!

2005-12-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

Despite so many things that I have to do today, I decided to post something on my million-dollar web log!! It’s so funny I never thought I would be here writing! I can be a good singer, dancer, Dj, make up artist, baby sitter, librarian, Dog walker, Sweet little sister, 2007 beauty pageant contestant, spoiled brat and even a cook (yeh, a good cook, show me someone who can cook without recipe…. That, my friend, is called “hidden talent”), but the truth of matter is that I can’t be a writer .I know myself well enough to admit this. Anyways, since I started it, I might as well try my best and don’t be afraid to fail. I promised myself to learn from my failures and don’t waste energy trying to cover them up. At least I had the guts of staring something that I suck at. If I succeed, then awesome!! I will be a good writer on the top all my great qualities ;) If I fail, then it’s ok. It’s ok to fail cause no matter how bad your failure is; you will learn something from it.

Just a start!

2005-12-08T23:06:00.000-08:00

Some ppl quote from famous to imply that somehow they are more intelligent than the rest . More importantly, they want to associate themselves with the more intelligent class of society. Well believe it or not, for now I don't belong to that gang. Who knows, maybe I'll join them in future as people change in a second these days. Anyways, I really wanted to start off this web log with a song lyric (maybe a techno remix like bezan beram), and then I decided to start it off with one of my favorite quotes. Believe me a quote from Albert Einstein does not mean that I am a genius in physics. In fact, I still can't get over the C- (12/20) that I got in grade 9.

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."Albert Einstein